For A Reason

Dedication:

To Meghann Hawkins- Lutz

For finding me when no one else was looking.

And, to my late Grandpa, Charlie for always loving me.

 

For A Reason

By: Cindy Renee

INTRO-

Her life had never been easy.  Now, to say that doesn’t mean that she had the HARDEST life anyone’s ever had… It just meant that she didn’t grow up with everything handed to her, and she didn’t grow up with everyone accepting her.  She had sickness, and not so much health.  She had dreams, but a lot of them went unrealized for a long time.  She didn’t have many friends in school. She was rejected time after time.  Life wasn’t fair.  But Alexandria Renee Hartley was a survivor.  But still, she couldn’t always do everything that everybody else could.  She sometimes felt she couldn’t trust people because of the actions of a few people she went to school with.  But, finally, someone had come along and asked her into their club, she had a friend.  And suddenly, her world opened up because this one girl took a chance on her.  Because of that action, Ali learned for the first time how to trust people. And slowly but surely, she started gaining friends and confidence.   And with every struggle she went through, she learned some new lessons for herself, and learned a little more about the people in her world.  She learned who she could and couldn’t trust.  She learned to pray ardently.  She learned to live her dreams.  She learned to write, which became her world.  It took a while before anyone really noticed her talent for writing and encouraged it.  Oddly enough-or maybe not- the same person who risked their popularity to invite her to play at recess that fateful day, was the same person to first take an interest in Ali’s writing.  She liked what her best friend wrote and encouraged her to keep doing it.  So, Ali did. 

Ali was a dreamer, and now, finally, some of her dreams were coming true.  She had wished so hard for these things-prayed about them and talked about them constantly so everybody knew what she wanted.  The only thing she didn’t have- was a guy.  See, Ali was one of those girls that had been planning their Big Day since she was a kid.  Her childhood was spent being sick and lying on the couch in the living room of her house-watching the world go by with her powerless to do anything about it.  Life was a bit depressing, so to combat that, she dreamed, and these dreams became the beginnings of her wedding dreams and her novels.  Her mom encouraged her to read.  So, Ali wrote everything down.  At this point in her life though, she was a grown up.  Sure, she was a YOUNG grown up, but still… Ali wasn’t going after guys, and she was content NOT having a boyfriend for her high school and college years, but now, she was twenty-two and graduating.  She knew she was still young, and maybe still a little young to be thinking marriage, but she couldn’t help it. Marriage and the want of a relationship was constantly on her heart and mind.  But there was something that set her apart from other empty-headed people: Ali believed that she WOULD one day be married.  She KNEW she would be.  And so, she wasn’t worried.  But sometimes, her faith waned a bit when she got frustrated with her life, like last year- when she had a major surgery and could have died.  But something told her not to give up-so, she listened to some love songs, bought a bridal magazine, and started writing her first novel.  And that is where this story begins.

 

               Chapter 1

She was often someone who didn’t think much of herself, but, she knew that there were a lot of people out there- true friends, that did.  They thought the world of her.  Alexandria Hartley was a 22-year old who was finishing up college.  She was studying to be a writer in school, which meant a lot of English classes, and creative writing.  She was ok with that, and she enjoyed it.  Sitting at a desk typing, or sitting on her bed with a pad and pen was where she felt the most comfortable.  She would sit there with a cup of tea or coffee with some classical music or jazz and write till she could write no more.  She felt at peace with the world when she was writing.  She had even filled her summers with classes so she could be done with school.  She wasn’t overly fond of it.  She was always one who wanted to shake the dust from the school off her feet and move on to something better.  She hated having to do homework, and having to listen to teachers drone on about things she could really care less about.  She really disliked how serious everything was, and most of all, she hated that she had to take all those Core classes like Science and Math that she was never going to use, and were just a stumbling block for her. She also didn’t like being made to take a foreign language… She decided on Spanish when she really was forced to pick one… because she had taken it in high school.   That was really the only reason. 

Right now, she had just finished her last final for Spanish 3, which was, THANK GOD, the last foreign language class she had to take EVER.       She handed it in, with a smile, because she knew she did fine on the exam, and she would never have to see Mr. Esposito again.  He was nice enough, but he spit when he talked, assigned too much homework, and didn’t allow students- even though they were in college- to chew gum in class… She would have understood if it was Biology Lab… But Spanish? 

Anyway, she felt free as she gathered her stuff and put it into her pink damask rolling book bag.  Her step was bouncy and light.  She walked down the hall (that smelled suspiciously like green beans although the cafeteria was in the other building, at the far end, and there were no restaurants in the vicinity…) with wood doors that marked the classrooms, with sometimes, a drinking fountain, some lockers, a poster for something no one really cared about, an outdated payphone (who really uses those anymore anyway?!), or a bulletin board with-again- flyers for things no one really cared about… She actually had to laugh and roll her eyes.  She was SO over this. 

She had no more exams today, so she went home, to her little apartment, right off campus.  She had tried to make it a home, and had done a pretty good job.  Her apartment was mostly done in Target Modern with creative touches of Hobby Lobby thrown in the best places.  She actually lived alone, which was rare for a college student.  The reason she was able to afford such a nice place-all by herself- was that she had been writing for The Cincinnati Enquirer for years, even when she was in high school.  She was a regular columnist.  She also worked in the school cafeteria over the summer when no one else wanted to work there… She only had a few classes during that semester.  But, the real kicker in this was that she had just been paid an advance check for a novel she had sent in to Smith and Caine Publishers. They loved it.  And after a few edits, they were getting 100,000 copies ready to go. She was so excited, but she had been able to keep it a secret- for the most part… Her parents knew, and so did her sister, Alyssa… And her best friend, Maddy… But other than that, everyone was clueless as to where all this dough was coming from.  Her parents were paying for her to go to school, and they were very generous, as far as helping her furnish her place. She really didn’t plan to live there much longer though, which was a little sad, since she had just moved in 2 semesters ago… But, she knew that she was going to be in a better place, and she was going to have a little more money rolling in, so wherever she decided to live would be away from the school, and closer to wherever her dreams would take her. 

She really did like her apartment though… It was a creative place.  She dropped her brown, faux leather purse from New York and Co on the side table by her front door, shut and locked it behind her, and put her car keys in the black and white damask bowl from Hobby Lobby.  She had a whole collection of this stuff.  Ali sat down on the couch and sighed, getting into her rolling book bag, and getting out her laptop, which she had recently covered with a special laptop skin she had created and ordered.  It was hot pink with silver damask (there we go with that pattern again…) her favorite pattern.  It had her name engraved on it in fancy script.  Alexandria Renee Hartley.  She kind of liked the formality.  She thought it looked pretty on book covers too, which made her smile. I’m really doing it! I’m really a writer! A Novelist! And soon, I’ll be a freakin’ college graduate!!!!! She turned the laptop on, and plugged it in, waiting for it to boot.  She got up and went to the fridge to get a Dr. Pepper and some pretzels.  It wasn’t quite lunchtime… but she was starving… She had to wake up at 6:30 and eat at 7 to be at class by 7:30, and then, she had her Spanish exam, which had taken her about an hour and a half to complete… Which meant it was now a little past 9… Yes, it was not quite lunchtime… But she planned to eat a handful of pretzels to tide her over until lunch.  Then, later, she would meet her bestie for dinner at The Macaroni Grill.  Madeline Astor was always someone that Ali could turn to when she needed advice, but today, the two gals were just catching up.  It was always a party when they were together-no matter what they were doing.  Maddy was studying psychology at the same university as Ali.  She was quite good…Whenever Ali had a problem; she knew she could go to Maddy to get some resolution or comfort. 

They were totally different people, Ali and Maddy, but, they worked.  Ali was shy and moody, at times.  She had long, beautiful red hair that was the perfect shade.  She had put blonde highlights in it about a year ago, and since it worked for her, she continued to do it.  Since she was what her mom called: a closet rebel, she painted her nails black, or in wild colors that looked like they were engineered by the folks at a highlighter company.  She had her ears pierced twice, and usually wore some kind of black stud in the top piercing, and a dangly one for the originals… She would never tell her mother, or gasp, her father (moreover) that she had a small tattoo on her hip- of a star.  It was just something fun to do over a weekend…

Maddy was prim and proper.  She looked like she was a modern version of someone out of a Jane Austen book.  She was lithe and blonde- her hair wispy and romantic.  She had a fair complexion.  She was always put together.  She was kind of preppy/chic in her wardrobe, and she wore a lot of neutrals and pastels.  Maddy was ready for sundress weather.  She loved to look feminine.  Her nails were usually in a shade of pink, manicured perfectly.  She loved to look girly, but grown up.  Madeline had just about every color cardigan sweater in the book, and ballet flats to match.  Ali’s favorite on her BFF was a dusty rose-colored quarter-sleeved cardi with pearl buttons, and a bow by the neck.  It was adorable. 

Maddy was nothing like the somewhat rebellious Ali, which was good, because they balanced each other; rubbed off on each other…  Ali shook her head with a smile, sipping her pop, checking her email.  Nothing exciting… Mostly emails from her Facebook and Twitter accounts… So, she got into Word and started typing in hyper speed.

 

               Chapter 2

When Ali wrote, she felt like she was the only girl in the world, so that world was her’s.  She loved that she could control the environment.  She loved the clacking of the keys as she typed, and the slight scratch of her pen hitting notebook paper.  Sometimes, she wrote on napkins, or on the back of takeout menus, receipts from Deb, or on the back of a flyer that had been put on her car in the school parking lot.  She carried a cute little notebook with her pretty much all of the time.   But, in her large purse that she carried when she was going a lot of places- she carried whatever regular notebook she was writing in at the moment.  Right now, the one in her purse was a One-Subject 70-pager with a cover which showed enlarged, colored cassette tapes… a Target purchase that her sister, Alyssa had pointed to one day when they were in desperate need of retail therapy. 

Alyssa was a great “baby” sister.  In reality, she was only 4 years younger than Ali.  Alyssa hated that their parents had given them names that sounded alike.  Ali guessed that it was probably because everyone called Alyssa Alice because it wasn’t Ali- which was already taken…by herself… She could have gone by Alex, but her parents didn’t want her to have a boy’s name… Ali let Alyssa call her Alex, to help ease that tension.  Alyssa was going to come over after school the following day.  They were going to go to T.G.I. Fridays for appetizers and dinner. Her sister went to high school and was a senior.  She had medium-length, dark brown hair, which she had dyed recently to have some light brown streaks.  She was adorable. She wasn’t tall, but she wasn’t short either, like Ali, and Maddy… She wore mostly darks and neutrals, like Navy Blue, Hunter Green, Maroon, Brown, Black, Charcoal Grey, Plum… You get the picture.  Ali wasn’t really sure, however, if she was choosing to wear them, or if she just bought them because it was very convenient to buy things that matched with everything.   Alyssa was only 18, so it was a tad unfair to drop her into a style genre… At 18, you don’t know who you are yet, even if you think you do.  Ali remembered when she was 18.  She had liked writing, and she wanted to pursue it as a career, but, she got scared, and almost thought that nothing she wrote was actually any good, and almost bought a $1,000 camera and became a photographer.  She really had no idea why she almost abandoned everything to do that, but, she was glad where she was able to get a digital camera, take pictures, AND write novels…

She was happy that for Christmas that previous year, she had been given a very nice, almost-professional camera with lenses and everything!  To make a little money over the last few months, she had taken some wedding pictures for a couple whose photographer had backed out at the last minute… And she had taken pictures for her sister’s Senior Portraits when the package didn’t get them everything they needed.  She did that for a few other people too, and they were most grateful.  She was the multi-talented girl.  She was bright and vivacious. And, she knew that one of these days, she would be a well-known novelist.  She was already on her way.

 

Madeline Astor was happy when her phone buzzed and it was Ali.  They had been friends for what seemed like a millennia.  In actuality, it had been about 12 years. Her best friend had texted, “I’ll be there in 10.  This traffic is horrible.  I’ve seriously been sitting here for 2 minutes without moving a single inch. GRR! Don’t they know that I have to go see my bestie and they’re holding me back?! People! Gosh! LOL….”

Maddy laughed at Ali’s mirth in this situation and responded with, “True that!  Just promise me you won’t text while you’re ACTUALLY driving. I really wouldn’t like to go to your funeral. Black isn’t my color.”

A few seconds later, she got back, “ Ok.”

When Ali got there, they both laughed, and shook their heads.  Ali looked gorgeous today.  She always did, truth-be-told, even though her best friend didn’t see it.

Ali’s chestnut hair was braided close to her head like a crown with the loose wisps of hair were curled.  She was wearing a dress, which was rare, and only for special occasions. It was a royal purple color with an asymmetrical neckline and she wore a pretty black belt around her tiny waist. She was wearing purple stilettos and a big smile on her face.  Ali obviously noticed Maddy noticing her attire. “Yeah, I look like a grown-up today!”

               “Any particular reason why?” Madeline raised an eyebrow.  They were seated in a booth with candles on the table, and white wine in the glasses.  Maddy had taken the liberty of ordering it because she knew that’s what Ali would want.  She was proven right when her best friend took a grateful sip and smiled.  “Well….” She had a slight deviousness to her voice. “I sent in a rough draft of a book I’ve been writing to my editor and publisher… They LOVE it… and they think it’s gonna be a hit.”

               “That’s awesome!  That’s so awesome!  What’s this one about? Have you talked to me about it?”

               “Not really…. I wanted to keep it to myself because I had a good feeling, but, I was paranoid about it… It’s about this group of ladies who came to this transitional home to find peace, and to get back on their feet, but, weird things keep happening… They get freaked out… A few leave… More come because they don’t know any better, and then, the ones who knew better and didn’t say anything get attacked by this bogey man with a chainsaw.”

Maddy was both enthused, and freaked out… “Really?! That seems a little scary and morbid… but very interesting….”

Then, Ali burst out laughing.  “No. Just kidding. The story is about a struggling writer who is trying to find the perfect kind of book to write, and that was one of the scenarios that she puts down on paper that ends up making it to the bookshelves of mystery and horror-lovers everywhere. Do you remember when I showed you that Audrey Hepburn/ Bill Holden movie, Paris When It Sizzles about that script-writer?”

               “I do.  It was a very interesting, if-not-slightly-confusing movie.  Is that what line you followed with the story?”

               “Pretty much.  My publisher thinks it’s ingenious.”

               “I’d love to read it, if you don’t mind.”

               “It’s only a rough draft, but, I thought you’d like to have this.” She put her black leather bag in her lap, and took out a bound-at-Fed-Ex/Kinko’s copy of her latest work of art, handing it to her friend with a chuckle.

Maddy couldn’t contain her excitement.  Her BFF was a great writer…better than Ali herself even admitted.  And to be given a rough-draft of something that only a few eyes had seen was an honor.  She took it into her grasp with the loving care of a fine piece of china or a beloved toy or something and looked at her friend with pride. “Thanks, bestie.  I really appreciate this honor.”

At that, Ali made another mischievous smile. “Your copy was the first I made… I wanted you to have the first…I actually wanted you to be the first to read it, but they kept pestering me at work… So, I had to capitulate. Read the dedication…”

Maddy smiled and obeyed with a look of genuine pleasure.  It said, “To Maddy, because you found me when no one was looking; when I was invisible… and you’ve never stopped loving the nerd that is me.  You’re the best friend anyone could ever have!  Thank you for your faith in me. I LYLAS; Ali.”

At that, Madeline Astor felt tears in her eyes of emotion-at knowing how her best friend felt about her.  It was really something… and they hugged fiercely.

 

 

 

Chapter 3

Many friends who meet in grade school don’t go on to become middle and high school friends, and stay friends well into adulthood.  Maddy and Ali had.  The great thing about them as friends was that they were always there for one another, and it didn’t really matter what they were doing, they were always happy doing it together.  After that wonderful dinner at the Macaroni Grill where Ali gave Maddy the copy of her book with the dedication, Maddy took it home with her and called Ali the next morning at 8:00, about a half hour before  Ali’s final exam of college.  Before Ali could say anything but, “Hi”, her bestie had already said, “The book is AMAZING!  I loved it.  It really made me think!  And I had no idea that the parts where you did the ax murders at the transitional home was such an important part of the story… I loved the characters… In the real part of the book, and the stories… They were all interesting… Especially Anna, Katy, and Joe… You did a great job, and I think it’s gonna be big!!! Epic!”

               “Do you really think so, Maddy?”

               “I SO do!”

Alyssa Hartley pulled up to her sister’s apartment right on time, as always.  She had busted her butt to get there on time, listening to music to get her pumped for the journey.  It really wasn’t that far, but Alyssa and her sister had music in common.  She loved driving her car, even if it was a slightly beat-up Toyota Camry…. It had a stereo that had been replaced by someone who was obviously into electronics and music.  She took a deep breath and smiled every time she turned on her car and heard the music playing.  She put her sunglasses on top of her head when she got to the front door, and the wind blew her auburn hair in her face, and she smoothed it when she knocked on the door.  Her big sister came to open the door not more than 2 seconds later.  “Hey!” Ali hugged her.

               “Hey…” Alyssa said, not thrilled with hugging. She never had been, it just wasn’t her thing.  She was more apt to help with a big project, or buy a gift, or spend quality time with a person… That whole Love Languages thing… A few months ago, their big group of friends had taken the test and discovered that Alyssa was Quality Time and Acts of Service, Ali was Words of Affirmation and Quality Time.  Alyssa’s best friend, Nikki Burke, AND her boyfriend, Brian Haines (also in their posse) were both Physical Touch, so was Maddy’s fiancé, Harry Clarkson.  Maddy was Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation.  They were trying to get their friend, Andrew Bennett to take it, but he hadn’t found the time yet.  He was a busy young person, the baby of their group, only a freshman in high school.  Alyssa made a mental note to chastise Andy again.  Of course, she always did it with love, but, she was the enforcer of the group.  Ali was the Planner and Confidant.  Maddy was Confidant and Wise Sage.  Nikki was The Driver, and the one who always tried to give them ideas for interesting things to do and see.  She was an Entertainment Goddess, and her BF, Brian was Entertainment god (so to speak).  He also was the Class Clown.  Harry was The Old Fart, being over 25, and he was The Goof Ball-with-a-good-heart.

Andy was The Baby, and Sports Illustrated (being very into baseball), but he also was one who gushed about everything in his life, and gave advice to anyone in the group who asked.  Despite being so young, he was incredibly smart, and when he wasn’t acting like a goof-ball, he was really mature… Of course, when Alyssa thought of The Kroger Incident, she grimaced because she was afraid that her place of employment would never let her back in the building after the display he put on.  He was talking like a gay person from the ghetto…. which was, in itself-utterly disturbing… But then, to make the matters more embarrassing, he pulled his pants partially down, revealing his boxers and going on about gangstas who were trying to run away from the cops… He was loud, and Ali told Alyssa later that she was trying not to encourage him by laughing, but it was just “So darn funny!” The worst part was that it was a weekend where parents had come to a college town to see their children…. And all of this was a sequel to a fascinating incident involving a pumpkin at Halloween.  They had driven to Kroger listening to The Backstreet Boys for some reason, and Andrew was making the car bounce.  They all had gotten out of the car and headed towards the store.  Alyssa remembered, as if it was yesterday, saying to her young friend, “You get to pick out a pumpkin! Get a nice one!” and there Andy went, practically diving into the huge cardboard bin to get one.  The most hilarious part was that as soon as he grabbed one, and tried to find Ali and Alyssa, Alyssa was getting a cart and there was a huge crowd of people in the way.  And then, Ali tried to get out of the way so that Andrew could put the huge pumpkin in the cart, but he couldn’t GET to the cart.  Once he got past the PEOPLE, there was an old lady that moved like an inch a minute.  So, to combat that, Alyssa found an exit, and used it.  She then wiggled her way around, and into the store with poor Andy holding that pumpkin, thinking the girls left him.  Maybe THAT was why he acted up in the store…

               “You ready to go, sis?” Ali asked.

               “Sure, Alex.” She laughed, and the two braved the late spring wind once they were outside.  It was lovely.  The two of them had always been close, and actually, they were closer now than they once had been.  It probably had something to do with the fact that they had become their own people, and they were more even, as far as where they were in education, and likes and dislikes.  It’s not really fair when one sibling is studying Division, and the other is studying Finger-painting. 

As they walked to the car, Ali asked what Alex had done that day besides school.

               “Nothing… except, I went and got a bag of candy at work before I drove here… School was most of my day.”

               “Yeah, I feel ya there.  I’m glad that I’m done now. Sweet relief.  Now, I can stop suffering and write another novel.”

               “You write no matter what’s going on in your life.” Alyssa corrected.  She was the one who always shared facts with people who forgot them.

               “What I meant was that now I can stop wasting time writing crap about crap and write something real.  Like, I can write a novel instead of a 10-page report about Why French people eat snails or essays about someone in history that you never heard of until you picked up your history book and really isn’t all that exciting.  I’m SO over it.”

               “Well you’re done now. I still have 3 or 4 more years of torture left.” Alyssa hated school, which was one of the things the sisters shared.  They got in the car and Ali flipped on her stereo, happy that Foreigner’s Juke Box Hero came over the sound system.  That was one of her favorite songs.  The guitar solo was phenomenal.  Ali and Alyssa laughed as they sang along. 

And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes, he's a juke box hero
He took one guitar, juke box hero, stars in his eyes
Juke box hero, (stars in his eyes) He'll come alive tonight

“I’m glad you convinced me to put their Greatest Hits on my mp3 Player.” Alyssa nodded as if to say, you were right.

“I knew you’d like it.  I have good taste in music.”

“You’re right.”

They both laughed because it was a good thing.  Alyssa was often very tentative about putting music on her mp3 player that she wasn’t familiar with, and Ali’s music was always a little more active than Alyssa was used to.   She was more of a jazz, Colbie Callait, instrumental, big band, pop music kind of girl.  One thing that had always been cool about their childhood was that their mother, Diana, was very cultured.  She instilled in her children a love of music, and theater, and old movies.  They grew up watching I Love Lucy, the Andy Griffith Show, Bewitched, the Brady Bunch, and the Beverly Hillbillies. They watched Casablanca, the Rear Window, Gone with the Wind, To Kill a Mockingbird, Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and The Birds.  They listened to a lot of oldies, which was a trait they got from both their parents.  The only kind of music their dad, Joe, would listen to was WGRR-Oldies 103.5.  So, the sisters were brought up on Elvis Presley, The Everly Brothers, Chuck Berry, The Monkees, Louis Armstrong, along with slightly more contemporary music, like Foreigner.  Diana would buy CDs through music clubs.  You would get so many free when you joined.  Lord knows how many CDs had been added to their collection from that.  Another thing was that she bought CDs at yard sales.  She got a lot of The Greatest Hits or Best Of albums so they could see what they liked.  Diana and Joe used to DJ weddings and dances for people using Joe’s mixer board and speakers.  That was another reason why they had so many different albums.

In the digital age, Alyssa’s computer held most of those albums, along with all her music, and Ali’s music… Needless to say, she had a lot of albums in her computer. 

When they got to The Olive Garden, they were both famished.  Neither one had eaten in HOURS.  Alyssa confessed that she didn’t eat breakfast, she only was able to pack a sandwich (Turkey and cheese with mayo), and a bag of chips.  She had grabbed a Chocolate Raspberry Luna Bar at Kroger when she bought the candy.  Ali confessed that she ate breakfast, but had been so busy with her exams that she had only gone grocery shopping for essentials and had forgotten to buy breakfast food in the process. 

               “I had cold pizza for breakfast.  One slice.  For lunch, I had Ramen Noodles.”

               “The Spicy kind?” Alyssa was being a smart aleck.   She knew that was her sister’s favorite.

               “Oh, hush… but, yes.”

               “I’m gonna be so happy when we actually eat…”

               “With you there.”

They made some small talk, ordered their food, and then, Alyssa asked, “May I have a copy of your novel to read?”

Ali’s eyes brightened, surprised.  “Really? You hate reading.”

               “I need to get into it… But, um… I wanna read yours….”

               “I’d love to give you a copy.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a bound copy, still a rough draft, but, a nice copy.

               “Thanks.  You really have a gift… I know you’re good.”

After the meal, in the car, on the way back home, Ali thought to herself that she felt very honored by the fact that her little sister was expressing interest in her writing career.  Her sister was often someone who didn’t share words of affirmation.  She didn’t feign interest.  But, amongst their group of friends, there was a rippling of the power of Ali’s words.  Asking for a copy of the book was a big step for Alyssa, Ali knew, being the older sister.  It was difficult to come to Ali and admit that she wanted to read what her sister had written.  It was out of character for her.  But, she was genuinely touched with the need to see what her sister had so passionately written.

Life was finally getting a little bit more even.  At times, everything had seemed so chaotic that she felt she couldn’t take a breath, but now, there was a peace that was over her because she knew this was right where she was supposed to be.  After all the childhood scars, the illnesses and rejection, she had finally discovered who she was and had been able to organize her once-mangled thoughts, and channel them into something constructive that would help people.  She really liked the way she was touched by authors’ words when she was no more than a helpless child sick on the couch with some kind of illness that couldn’t be explained.  A lot of her childhood was a bit of an unresolved issue because she had spent a lot of the time when most kids were playing in the backyard or riding bikes-home sick with the flu, an ear infection, or pink eye.  She didn’t learn how to tie her shoe until she was in the second grade, and even to this day, she sucked at it, which was why she wore mostly slip-on shoes like flats, or even Airwalks that didn’t have ties. Right now, no one would ever know the pain she had gone through, because she was such an upbeat person that was pretty-much always smiling.  In the past, a smile was only used as a cover-up for what she was truly feeling.  She took a lot of her pain to heart when she was young, and when she was old enough to know that what she was being subjected to wasn’t normal, she began to dwell on the negative things, and was easily depressed-moody and sad.  She actually had a little bit of anger because of all those repressed feelings.  But, with time, maturity, a lot of reading and writing, and a few trips to a shrink, she had sorted out some of those mixed up emotions.  And what that didn’t fix, she left that up to God because He was really the only one who could do anything anyway. 

CHAPTER 4

Evan Grayson didn’t know what had made him get up so early that morning.  He wasn’t someone who relished getting up early, and neither was his dog, Max, who was a chocolate lab he had adopted at a pet fair on campus.  He had had the crazy animal for a year now, and loved having him immensely.  Now, he was getting ready to walk his dog, and Max kept looking up at the door as if to say, Come on, dude!  Hurry up! He was just going to walk Max around the complex, but Max kept pulling him down the sidewalk towards the West Brook Apartments down the street a little.  “What are you up to, crazy dog?” He asked the creature who had what one could call a mischievous grin on his face. “Fine, don’t tell me, just let me talk to myself.” Evan rolled his eyes. 

The weight of the past few days were clinging to Evan and his thoughts were otherwise engaged.  It had been his last day of college yesterday.  He had done his exams, and even though he had been an excellent student-on the honor roll and the Dean’s list- he still had a pain in his chest-a fear that maybe he didn’t answer a question good enough and he was going to fail.  He knew it was insane, but he was nervous.  At least Max seemed to be enjoying the early walk in this new locale.   He should-since he picked it.  He also had on his mind that all of his college buddies had girlfriends, even if just for a week or two-and Evan had never even taken a girl to a dance.  He felt so behind-not that he really wanted to be those guys who partied and drank and hooked up with all kinds of loose girls and got themselves in trouble… He just felt like something was missing in his life, and he was lonely.  He didn’t really have anything in common with his peers.  He wasn’t a very outgoing guy.  He was shy and quiet. He wasn’t a type-A personality, and he wouldn’t classify himself as an Alpha Male.  He was good-looking, and he wouldn’t tell anyone, (because he was shy, and humble) but he knew he was good-looking.  He was of Irish descent.  His mom actually was from Ireland and had come to America on a student visa in college, and ended up falling for his father.  It was a really romantic story, and actually a little sad too… While she was in America, her parents were killed in a farming accident, and her brother sent her a letter and a copy of the parents’ will.  They had left everything they had to their children.  And they told their daughter Lydia O’Brien to marry the love of her life, Patrick Grayson, so she would be as happy as they had been.  And they had left her enough money to stay in the States.  They had always said that if she wanted to immigrate to America, they wanted her to apply for citizenship, even if she was marrying an American because they wanted her to do it right.  Evan had always liked that story, and he hoped that one day, he would meet someone to share those thoughts and dreams with.  Somehow, even though it sounded a little West Side Story to him, he knew that something was coming-right around the corner.

It was then that he passed a cute apartment that was unlike any of the other apartments on the street.  The apartments were set up like townhouses, and the particular place he was looking at definitely had a woman’s touch. There was a damask patterned doormat and a wreath that radiated springtime.  And, as if his looking at the front door had summoned her, the door opened and a beautiful young woman stepped out.  Seeing him, and probably thinking he was one of her neighbors, she smiled and gave a little wave.  He did the same, and was going to keep walking, but, Max thought otherwise.  He went right to the beautiful redhead.  “Hi, boy!” She smiled at the dog, which was sniffing her.  And then she looked to the dog’s master-himself… “May I pet him?”

               “Sure.  Max is very friendly.”

               “I see that.” She crouched down and petted the chocolate lab that sat down for her and just smiled.  He was surprised at the girl, and his dog.  Evan’s mouth went dry when he looked at her.  She was average height, thin, and gorgeous.  He felt a shiver go down his spine watching her pet Max.

               “He likes you.” He said with a smile.

               “The feeling is mutual.” She laughed slightly. 

               “Do you have dogs?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t being nosy.

               “Not here… But, my parents have a dog much like Max here… Actually, his name is Max too.”

               “Hmm… I had heard that Max is the most common name for dogs…”

               “My sister, Alyssa picked that fur-ball out and said he just looked like a Max. It’s a very appropriate name for him, I think.”

He actually regretted that he knew her dog’s name, and her sister’s name before her’s. And, as if on cue again, the girl smiled.  “I’ve been very uncouth… I should have introduced myself… I’m Alexandria Hartley.  You can call me Ali.”

He stepped forward and shook her hand.  “Nice to meet you, Ali.  I’m Evan Grayson.”

               “It’s a pleasure.” She smiled, nodding, and pushing a lock of chestnut hair behind her ear.  Then, he had to think he was imagining it…but he wasn’t…  Ali Hartley was blushing.

I have never seen such a handsome guy in my life… And he’s sweet… oh, Lord… and his name is Evan which means, God is gracious in Russian… or Young Warrior to the Irish…. And he likes dogs…

Her cheeks turned almost as red as her hair.  And, she colored even more when she noticed him noticing that she was blushing…

Evan was tall, and he looked strong.  He had, what could best be described as strawberry blonde hair… blonde with a little red.  He was probably of Irish descent, given the name and hair color. And, she had no idea why she wanted to know everything there was to know about him at the moment.  She wanted to find out who he was and where he came from.  It felt so silly.  She just met him.  They had barely been standing outside for 5 minutes… It was ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous.  She didn’t know where it came from, but, she blurted out, “Do you live around here?”

               “Yeah… Oak Terrace Apartments.” He smiled.  “Where were you off to?” he asked her, looking as curious about her as she was of him.

               “I was just going to go to Hobby Lobby. I’m not really in a hurry… I was just bored. School’s out, and graduation isn’t till next week.”

               “College?” He looked like he was hoping that was it.

               “Yes. You?”

               “Yeah… Done with exams… I went to UC… Graduating in a week too.”

               “A fellow UC Alumni-to-be.”

               “Wow… Well, um…” He looked like he was trying to decide what to do or say.

               “Do you have to go?” she frowned.

               “Um… no, I just- thought it’d be forward to ask what I wanted to ask…”

He was blushing now.

               “Well, I guess it depends on what you’re going to ask, Mr. Grayson.” She was speaking with a tad bit more confidence than she felt. And she continued with an even-more-surprising addendum to her statement.  She said, “If you were going to ask to come inside and put a tie on the doorknob, than, yeah… I’d say, ‘keep that to yourself.  I’m not that kind of girl.’ But…” She smiled, softening considerably, and smoothing her hair. “If you were going to ask me out, I’d say ‘Yes’.”

He actually chuckled.  “It would be rude to ask the first thing… But, since you seemed fine with the second thing…” He colored a little. “Would you like to go out on a date with me?  I can drop the big brown dog off at my place… And then, we can go do something fun… then go out to eat… grab a pizza or pasta, or steak, or whatever you like…”

               “That sounds awesome.  What did you have in mind?”

She had no idea why it was so easy to trust a complete stranger.  For all she knew, he could be a descendant of Jack the Ripper getting ready to tear her to shreds… You wouldn’t let me go through with this if he was a raving lunatic, would you, God? She said a silent prayer.  And, she got her answer when Evan said, “Well, I know this great place where they have laser tag, bowling, mini-golf, Go-Karting, and an arcade… I went there a few times with some of my guy friends from church.”

Alright then. Ali sighed.  I guess he checks out.  “Sounds awesome.” She was glad that she had dressed casually, in a pair of dark jeans and an off-the-shoulder black shirt with a hot pink tank under it as if she was channeling The 1980s. She was wearing comfortable black ballet flats, and her red hair was pulled back in a flip-through style.

She walked with him back to his place, where he put his beautiful chocolate lab in the house.  The dog went into the bedroom, seemingly ok with being put inside.  Once he had shut and locked the door, Evan said, “That’s odd.” As he walked away, and he looked at her as she looked over to see what he was talking about.  “What’s odd?”

               “Max hates it when I leave him alone.”

               “Hmm… what do you think that means?” She asked.

               “I think he’s fine with us going out.”

Ali thought about what Evan had said as they drove to the House of Fun.  She had heard, not singularly, that dogs could sense things, and that had been shown to her to be correct over the years.  Was that what this was?  Could Max sense that there was chemistry between her and his master, Evan? She would have thought that ridiculous if it didn’t ring so true to her heart.  She paused a moment to study the gorgeous young man she had met today.  He has wearing jean shorts and sandals, with a white button-down shirt with a nice blue and green-checkered print.  He was wearing sunglasses now, and, that just made him look cooler in her eyes.  Her heart was starting to race. She could feel it thudding in her chest. His bright Yellow Mustang was such a nice ride, and she could tell that he had worked hard for this car.  It wasn’t simply given to him by his parents like most young people. She wasn’t sure how she knew he had worked for the car.  He hadn’t even mentioned it.  He just smiled and sighed when he unlocked the car with the remote.  It was a look of pride and accomplishment that one gets when they have earned something they really wanted. He had that look.

And, she loved the music he played in the car over the Sync System. Classic rock, and nice 70s and 80s jams like,   Foreigner’s Juke Box Hero, Pat Benatar’s Hit Me with Your Best Shot, and Cheap Trick’s I Want You to Want Me.  She couldn’t help bobbing her head and smiling.  This was her kind of music.  And, it was too soon to really be sure, but, it was looking like Evan was going to be her kind of guy.  She stopped herself before she could even finish thinking it, because she didn’t want to get too ahead of herself.  She didn’t want to jump to conclusions.  And, she didn’t want to get hurt.  That was probably the biggest factor.  She hadn’t been hurt by guys… But, she had been hurt by acquaintances in the past, and she didn’t want that to happen again.  Time doesn’t always heal old wounds, no matter what people say…

Chapter 5

Evan wasn’t quite sure what was going through Ali’s mind as he drove.  He noticed her bobbing her head, and actually head-banging to certain parts.  He smiled.  He found her charming.  Everything about her… Now that they were in an enclosed area, he could smell the light scent of her perfume, and as her lips lip-synced to the tunes, he couldn’t help but wish he could kiss them.  It was a feeling that made his heart stop and then race frantically.  He was amazed that she had accepted his invitation so readily. For all she knew, he could be an ax-murderer.  He had noticed, however, when he asked her out, she had bowed her head for a second.  At the time, he hadn’t thought much of it. He just thought she was trying to not seem too eager.  But now, he realized, it was a prayer. She asked if it was safe to go out with me… She asked if He would tell her if I was a loon… He appreciated her even more now.  He respected her.  Something told him that she had been through a lot, and while she was tough, he should treat her with care and respect.  He would have done that already, no matter what, but, he just had a feeling that she was placed in his path, and he in her’s for a reason.  Just like, oh, he couldn’t believe he was bringing this movie up, but… In 1997’s Titanic, Rose was meant to find Jack.  She was meant to fall in love with him because even though he would die, and she would be left, he was her ticket out of the misery she was living in.  She didn’t like being just a porcelain doll.  She didn’t like, as she said; “Standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming and no one even looks up!” Even though she left a live of riches, she was far happier than she was in the beginning.  Jack had believed that she could be more than what she was… The whole movie was actually really touching, he hated to admit.

He wondered if Ali liked it.  She probably did.  Most girls liked Titanic.  He looked over at her and said, sheepishly, “Dumb question, but, do you like the movie Titanic?”

A big grin crossed her face, smile going up to her eyes. “It’s one of my top ten favorite films.”

               “I’m ashamed to admit, mine too.”

She seemed to enjoy that.  “I have a lot of guy friends who SAY they don’t like it, but I know they do.”

               “So, what does that mean for me?” He asked, chuckling.

               “You’re gutsy.  You’re atypical.  I can go for that.”

               “So, you wouldn’t mind staying in on April 14^th in the evening, and watching that darn movie till the 15^th to acknowledge the anniversary?”

               “Is that a tradition for you too?!” She was all smiles.

               “Shut up! You mean you do that too?!”

               “As sure as Jack was that Rose wouldn’t have jumped off the stern.”

               “Wow!  I’ve met one of my own kind.  Do you watch the documentaries?”

               “Yes.  And I have most of them on DVD.  Discovery Channel, National Geographic…”

He had to smile as he pulled into the parking lot of their destination.  “And did you see the musical at La Comedia last year at the 100 year mark? Well, actually, it was the 29^th… a little after the anniversary.”

               “I sure did… You mean, you were there too? On the 29^th? The final show?”

               “Yes.”

               “This is getting interesting! Wow! I am just-amazed.”

They discovered that they were just a few rows away from each other.  They had a ball running around and playing laser tag, doing Skeeball and various other arcade games, mini-golfing and go-Karting.  They used their myriad of tickets to buy some ducks with porcupine centers.  They also put some towards inflatable swords.  It was junk, they knew, but the memories were very precious.  Ali was someone who had always wanted to believe in true love and fairytales.  She wanted to believe that someone could sweep her off her feet and take her to some fancy castle.  She knew that there was something in her heart that had resisted falling in love, or even letting friends get too close, because she was worried about getting hurt, or she was worried that they didn’t appreciate her.  But now, she really didn’t know why, but, she felt very comfortable with Evan.  He was a breath of fresh air.  As they ran around, shooting people with lasers, she knew that he had her back.  And she knew he was rooting for her when they played games.  And, when she was getting out of the go-kart, he offered his hand in assistance, saying in a sweet voice, “Let me help you, lass.” In an Irish accent.  She chuckled and took his hand, letting him help her out. And there was something in those beautiful green eyes that let her know that some things can last forever if you let them.

Evan felt sparks flying when she looked at him.  There was a fire in her almost aqua eyes.  And when she talked, he knew she was sincere.  From the moment he saw her, he knew that she was good.  He knew that the Good Lord was with her everywhere she went, protecting her.  He got a sense that she had been through a lot-that she was tough, but, she was also injured in her soul.  As of now, he wasn’t sure what had transpired.  He just knew that she was dealing with it.  He didn’t want to be nosy and ask.  They hadn’t known each other long enough… But, when they went for dinner at Texas Roadhouse, she took a breath and said, “I can trust you, right?”

There was such a strength radiating from her, but also, so much vulnerability.  His throat was dry, but, he said, “Yes… Yes you can.” His voice cracking with emotion- feeling the wash of responsibility coming upon him; the weight of it, but also, the sense of feeling the other person’s trust being placed in you. He knew he was doing the right thing, being with her, and letting her confide in him.  He knew that she was someone that probably had to force herself to be open with people.  He found it funny, because, she had been so warm and inviting that morning with Max outside her apartment.  But now, in this moment, he saw the look in her eyes, and he knew that he was about to be let in on her story.  He knew that there were probably only a handful of people she had felt comfortable enough with to divulge this information.  The fact that she was comfortable enough to peel like a banana and bare her soul made his heart skip a beat.  She took a sip of her Cherry Coke- which was the good kind… The kind that had the cherry juice and cherries mixed in with the Coke… And, she nodded.  “I was sick a lot as a kid. It was just normal kid stuff… Colds, ear infections, pink eye…the flu… But, I got sick A LOT.  And as I started going to school, it became more and more.   And, eventually, my parents started realizing that there were other things-that were not so ordinary, that they had noticed going wrong.  I had Eczema and my feet would crack and bleed.  They hurt so bad that I actually couldn’t walk normally.  I had started taking ballet at school, so I had learned to walk on my toes.  I had to relearn how to walk.  My muscles would get charley-horses.  I couldn’t tie my shoe until the second grade.  I can’t cut in a straight line to this day.  I kind of knew how to tell time, but, I can’t see all those stupid lines on the clock.  I took piano and I had a hard time seeing where the notes were on the music scale… On the keyboard, I knew which key was A and B and C… But, when I was playing, I couldn’t read the music… all the lines blended together-which is one of the reasons I suck at math… I can’t see graphs well… I don’t follow them because my eyes and my brain have a hard time with depth-perception and spatial reasoning.”  She took a breath, twirling a loose strand of her red hair around her finger, and continued.  “I would just watch the teacher’s hands move across the keyboard.  I would remember the placement of her hands and memorize the song-how the notes sounded.  Then, I would go home and practice on the piano… I played it by ear and memorized it to play for the teacher.  One day, she caught on… I STILL couldn’t read music.  I still can’t.   I would have loved to be gifted that way-since I love music so much… but, it was not to be.”

               “It takes a lot of talent to play songs by ear.”

She smiled.  “That’s what they tell me.” She took a bite of her steak, chewed it, and swallowed.  “I didn’t really have any friends when I was in school… Of course, I was always sick, and I just couldn’t do some of the things the other kids could… so, they didn’t think I was worthy to play with them.  I was pretty much always excluded from their games at recess… I still cry whenever I watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer at Christmastime.  Even before school started, we really had no neighbors that were kids… It was just Alyssa and I… My favorite movie growing up was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I loved it because Belle was so much like me, but, I also related to the Beast. I memorized that whole movie.  I knew all the lines by heart.  I knew the costumes, and the characters… I knew the songs…I would watch it over and over again.  The movie was one of the first pieces of inspiration I had.  But, my parents always took me to church on Sunday, and I knew that somehow, even though it seemed like everything was so grey and dismal in my life, that I was put here for a purpose.  That didn’t make it hurt any less that everyone in school ignored me, and when they weren’t doing that, they were teasing me.  And it certainly didn’t help that I was sick so often, and missed so much school that I fell behind.  I carried those scars with me for a long time, and it was a hard thing to fix in my mind.  I wanted to be normal-be like everyone else, but that just wasn’t going to happen.  I never fit neatly into someone’s box.”

               “It hurts when you’re in it… But, it is a remarkable thing you have accomplished- being one of a kind, and getting where you are in life.  There really isn’t anything special about someone who just follows trends, and really has no mind of their own.  It isn’t special if you’re like everybody else.  You’ve been through a lot… But, I can tell it’s made you stronger.”

               “Yeah. I think so too.”

               “What else happened?” He was curious, and concerned.

               “Well, they kept taking me to the doctor and no one could tell me what was wrong with me.  I had allergies, and I couldn’t run right.  I had a low immune system.  I seemed to have trouble with hand/eye coordination.  I had to get glasses when I was in the first grade. And, when I went to the allergy doctor, they told me that I was allergic to myself.  I guess it was kinda true, but, when you’re a kid, that tells you that you’re the one at fault for being so sick, and that’s not true.   You have no control over what happens inside your body. You’re a kid. You eat what your parents feed you. You go to the bathroom when your teacher says you can. Your whole life is dictated by someone else.  So, to be told that, it just sucks because, from then on, everything that happens to you-you believe that it’s your fault.  And its worse when other people start cementing that belief by ACTING like it’s your fault that you’re sick.  Sure, if you KNOW that someone had the flu and was using the computer, and YOU need to use that computer, YOU don’t clean it off first, YOU use it and YOU wipe your eyes, or something- YOU get sick, it IS YOUR fault…. But, when you’re a kid; you have no control over so much of your life, and you don’t understand the concept of germs… Anyway, that’s a cross I had to bear.  And at school, no one wants to be your friend.  Everyone ignores you.  Your teachers don’t know what to do with you, and your parents are tired… They feel more hopeless than you do… But you’re the one who has to take amoxicillin all the time.  You get the blood drawn.  You have to pee in a cup.  You have to be able to explain how you feel to people who are analyzing you… And no one understands.”

He felt for her.  His heart went out to her.  She had been through so much. 

               “All this was still going on… But, finally, after all those years not having any friends, I met Maddy.  She’s now my best friend…  We became like sisters because she was the first one to take the time to get to know me.  She risked her popularity to be my friend-pick me first.  No one had ever done that for me before… She found me when no one else was looking.  And, over the years, she helped me through everything imaginable.  Now, she has a degree in counseling… Maybe I had something to do with that. I don’t know.  The worst part, I think- about all the teasing that went on was that it was at a Christian school… I know, wherever you go, people are mean… Kids are mean… but, still…” She stared off into space for a moment, obviously feeling the pain all over again.  “I made it through middle school, but, during that time, I finally got led to a doctor that led me to a doctor in Cleveland that talked to me, did some blood work and scans, did a biopsy, and finally gave us some answers.  I don’t actually have what they diagnosed me with… It’s still a question mark, but, at least, that helped us through those few formative years… I got more help in school.  I got an IEP, which helped me pass those stupid government tests with the Scantron sheets… But still, that didn’t make the kids any less mean.  I was a chubby girl…” She actually laughed a little, even though he knew it was painful… He had a hard time believing it, but, he knew she wasn’t lying. “They made fun of me because of the way I walked…my skin was so bad that it hurt to walk… my legs would get chapped and my pants would chafe… I’ll never forget the day when they told me I waddled like a penguin…”

               “They really said that to you?” He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

               “Yes.  I didn’t say anything.  I just walked away, hid behind the Dumpster and cried.  And then, one day in gym, we played Dodge Ball.  I hated that game.  I was very sensitive… those balls hurt.  And, since I had glasses and no depth perception, I would shield my face from the ball, and not catch it. I would just let it roll away from me, not caring about picking it up for my team, just wanting to be as far away from the thing as possible.  I still remember them talking about me.  They knew I was there, I think, but, they grumbled, ‘did you see what she did? She just covered her face like a ‘fraidy cat.’ And in the bathroom, I think they still knew I could hear them, but they said, ‘what a loser, she can’t even catch a ball’.  I was changing in the stall, and even after I was done, I just stayed in that bathroom and bawled.  I didn’t go back to class right away, and I think the teacher had to come get me.”

               “That’s awful.” He put a hand over her’s-for moral support… He was watching her relive her most horrid memories. 

               “It’s funny… I transferred to a public school because we moved… And the public school was kinder than the private one… I can’t say that I had many friends, but, at least, I wasn’t tormented.  In high school, I didn’t do the best at school… It was a little overwhelming, but, I kept discovering the power of books, and the power of writing…. Oh… I almost forgot…” She said, holding up a finger, telling him she was going to tell a side story that related to what she was saying right now. “When I was probably 7 or 8 years old, I got a bad fever… I had been fine the night before, but I awoke to the most terrible pain I had ever been in.  Every muscle, bone, joint and tendon hurt. My muscles were all cramped up in charley-horses…  I was crying and whimpering, screaming even.  The worst part was-I had to pee!   I panicked… And I knew I had to find a way to get myself downstairs… But first, I had to get out of bed… I forced myself to roll to the edge of the bed and roll off-onto the floor, which had carpet, thankfully… Then, I had to crawl on my belly, practically clawing my way to the door.” She paused, about to elaborate. “You know that scene in Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith where Anakin-turned Darth Vader gets his legs chopped off by Obi-Wan Kenobi, and falls into the molten sand, rolling down and catching on fire?”

He knew exactly what she was talking about. “Obi-Wan says, ‘you were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!’ and Darth screams, ‘I HATE YOU!’.”

               “Exactly… Well, imagine what Vader was feeling when he was using his one, mechanical arm to claw his way up the hill of molten sand of Mustafar… That’s an exaggerated example of what I went through…”

It hit him, all the pain, frustration, but also, determination that she had encountered that day.

               “I made it to the door.  I remember that I couldn’t even turn the knob because my hands were so cramped.  Think of a person with really bad arthritis… I got the door open… I crawled like a snake on my belly, down the stairs.  It was a long flight of carpeted stairs with a landing at the bottom.  I crawled down; my muscles were betraying me… I felt them spasm. I kept panicking because I knew I had to get down there.  I wasn’t about to let myself pee in my pants after all that work. But, I had to go SO bad… And I was sleepy… And confused…” She took another, short, sharp breath.  “I reached the landing…then, there were 2 more steps… but first, I had to turn myself a little to the left so I could get down the steps.  It was hard because I could barely move my legs…What wasn’t in pain was numb… it was like my legs and arms had fallen asleep.  I forced myself down to the floor of the living room.  I took a breath, my body screaming at me.  My bladder was killing me.  I sobbed as I clawed my way to the bathroom.  Once I made it, I had to force my legs to comply.  I had to force myself to get up…lift the toilet seat, hoist myself up, and finally, I felt a little relief. I felt accomplishment… But…” She trailed.

               “You were still in a ton of pain, and you were scared that you wouldn’t be able to get out of there… You were wondering if your parents heard you crying. You were wondering how you were going to wash your hands… You were 7 or 8 … you were probably fairly short… You could hardly reach the sink as it is…”

She nodded. “My parents heard me, and they helped me…”

               “Did you go to the hospital?”

               “No… I couldn’t move, and my parents didn’t know what they would even tell the doctors.  I was just screaming and crying… So, I want to say the doctor was called, but I don’t know… I think Mom gave me some Children’s Tylenol which brought down the fever and sort of lessened the pain… But, I couldn’t move.  So, I was on the couch for a good day or two.  I listened to books on tape… I listened to music, and watched TV. I read books and looked at magazines all day because I couldn’t move. I eventually got better, but, it hurt for a long time.  I felt so helpless at the beginning… But, I realize now, that I was given some incredible strength that day.  And now, I have a high pain tolerance… Anyway… That was one of the first times I realized the joy of the written word.  When I was in 6^th grade, I had pneumonia and was out of school for 2 weeks.  I was so bored that I actually WISHED for homework… I read every book in my closet bookshelf.  I listened to every CD and looked through every magazine. My mom babysat at the time, which made it so I couldn’t go downstairs during the day. My meals would get brought to me like I was at a bed and breakfast…  I came back to school, and it was like the only person who missed me was Maddy.  They had changed the seating arrangement while I was out, and I wasn’t sitting anywhere near her…”

               “That’s an intense story, Ali.  I really feel for you… And even though I know what you went through was horrible… I’m glad, that you lived to tell about it… I’m glad that you told me… No one has ever opened up to me like that….”

               “I only tell my story to people who I think will be in my life for a long time and people who can be inspired by it… I know, no matter how bad my day is, there’s always someone who’s had a worse day than I. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles, so, there’s no use just moping about it.”

 

 

 

              

 

 

 

Chapter 6

Evan couldn’t get enough of Ali’s laugh, and her sweet disposition.  Leaving the restaurant, she said, barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry I talked your ear off in there.  I should have let you talk…”

He just smiled.  “No, I liked listening to you… I wanted to know what made you who you are.  I have been so curious about you since the moment we met.  My story really isn’t all that interesting.  And I haven’t been through as much as you have.”

They were to the Mustang now, and he opened her door for her.  She got this quirky smile on her face and he knew that this was the first time anyone had ever done that for her.  “Thanks.” She said, in a breathless voice.

               “You’re welcome.” He felt a grin on his face and he went around letting himself in. Once they were out of the driveway, she asked him, “How long did it take you to pay for this car?”

               “How did you know I bought it?” He was a little surprised.

               “The way you treat it… The way you regard it… It’s the look a person gets when they’ve earned something by the strength of their back.”

Ali wanted to know so much about Evan Grayson.  The car was just the first thing she thought to ask that was really in depth.  She knew she had blabbered on and on about her own life and all her issues, but, he didn’t seem to mind.  Now, though, she wanted to be fair and let him talk.  Ali believed in reciprocity.  And, she was so curious about him.  She watched his face light up when she mentioned the car and asked about how he got it. He was surprised that she knew he had bought it himself.  And now, the corners of his gorgeous mouth were shaped into a proud smile. Oh, Lord, he’s beautiful!  She thought.  To her question, Evan nodded and said, “Well, my dad hired me at the garage he used to work at.  I was helping to fix cars even before I was allowed to legally work.  He once asked me what kind of car I wanted most, and I told him that I wanted a Mustang.  He taught me everything he knew about the car, and when I’d help him fix cars, he’d give me a few bucks and tell me to put it in this old coffee can to save for my ‘stang… When I got to legal working age, he hired me officially, and I put most of my paycheck in that can.  I also mowed lawns and I painted houses…. He said he would pay for my schooling at UC… I didn’t have to worry about that.  When I realized I had the money all collected, I was so excited!  When the can got full, I had been taking it to the bank and putting it in a savings account meant just for my car.  With interest, it kept building.  Every now and then, for my birthday, or Christmas, my dad would get me something to put on or in my future car.  And he would put $50 in my savings account.  He was very generous.  And when I had enough money, we looked at a good chunk of them, and test-drove a few… I actually had been online-to the website- building-if you will, my dream Mustang… And, I had the money loaded onto a card…ordered it, and a few months later, that ‘stang was delivered to my house…”

She smiled.  “That’s really great.  It’s a sweet ride.”

               “It is… and the best thing is that I know how to fix it if anything goes wrong… My dad retired a year ago from the garage, and I’ve been just working here and there… a little fixing cars. For a while, I waited tables, and never again…” He looked at her in all seriousness.  “But now, I have a job as an illustrator for a publishing company… I also do book covers… both art and photography.”

Her heart almost stopped again. Really?! Seriously?! He’s an illustrator? How cool is that?!

               “What publisher?” She asked, dying to know.

               “Smith and Caine Publishers.”

Oh, Lord have mercy! We work at the same place for heaven’s sake! This is too cool!   Ok, God… I know You’re there. We could work so well together… Me writing books and him doing the covers… Wow… that’s really all I can say…. Just-wow….

               “I actually work there too… I’m a writer. This is-too cool!”

He looked stunned.  And happy… And then he looked like he was trying to go over case files to figure out if her books were on his list of covers to do.

               “I’d say this is a coincidence… But, it can’t be.”

               “God doesn’t do coincidences… He does miracles, and He drops us where we need to be.”

He smiled at that as if he knew she was right. “What’s your pen name?”

               “Alexandria Renee Hartley… my full legal name.”

And then, he got an even bigger grin on his face.  “This may seem forward… But, I need to show you something at my place…”

Evan didn’t wait for her to say anything-not that she would have anyway.  When they got to his apartment, he told her to take a seat on the couch while he went and got something.  She nodded her compliance and sat down, neatly putting her hands in her lap, waiting for whatever he would show her.  While she was waiting, Ali looked around the place Evan lived.  It was a pretty nice place, and he took care of it.  He had some baseball posters in the hall and a poster of Darth Vader by his entertainment center.  He had a stack of old and new car magazines in a somehow organized mess by his end table.  There was a picture of Evan with two middle-aged people, probably his parents, and, a younger version of Evan who must be a brother, and a slightly older clone who must be an older brother in a frame on the wall. 

She noticed his funky decorating.  A guy definitely lived here, but, he had taste.  There were framed pictures that he must have taken.  She marveled at his attention to detail.  They were truly beautiful.  On one wall, he had various drawings placed in a clever collage inside a black poster frame.  He was a good artist.  Great in fact.  She saw sketches coming out of a Five Star green folder on the coffee table, and a fancy camera sitting on top of a nice laptop.  She was just noticing the collection of music he had in his CD tower when Mr. Grayson’s voice told her to close her eyes.  She did. And he placed, in her trembling hands, a glossy paper.  “Open your eyes.” He said. She did, and she gasped when she saw what he had given her. 

               “It’s the cover to my first novel! Oh my- of all the cover designers in the all the publishing houses in all world; you designed mine.”

               “Clever play on lines from Casablanca… Do you like it, Ali?”

She actually started to cry.  “I love it!  You captured exactly what I wanted in the cover. It’s beautiful… It really is.”

That obviously made his day, and he pulled her up, drew her to him by taking her wrists gently in his hands, such tenderness, but yet, such strength in that simple action.  He wiped away her tears, and rested his chin gently on the top of her head-her being a bit shorter than him.  Then, in a quiet, sincere voice, he said, “Usually, I don’t completely read the novels… I just skim through them and email the authors… but, when I got your novel, I had heard you were a newbie and you had a story to tell… I took the manuscript with me to read over the weekend.  I no sooner came in the front door when I felt called to read it… And I didn’t stop, Ali.  I read it non-stop.  I had it done by 3 in the morning.  Only then did I eat.  I thought about what I had read, and I got out my pad and pen.  By morning, the cover was complete.  It actually bothered me that it was only Saturday.  I couldn’t turn it in till Monday… But, at 10 am, Saturday morning, I sent Mr. Caine and Mr. Smith an email, telling them that they were right.  I told them that the book was so compelling that I couldn’t put it down.  They know I don’t read that much, so, the thing MUST be good.  And I told them that if there was ever any illustrating or cover work to be done for any of your books, that I would like nothing more than to be it.”

The words registered so profoundly to her mind, but more-so to her heart.  She knew she was a good writer.  She always had been.  But, she had never really felt appreciated for her talents until recently.  And, the fact that before she even MET Evan, he already knew her innermost thoughts… he already knew her life’s work… It was truly amazing.  And the fact that he wrote that email to the publishers, saying that her book was amazing, and he’d love to be the one to do all her artwork for her novels… That was something that touched her heart. 

               “You wrote in your book that Caitlen wanted to believe in true love and fairytales, but, it hadn’t been her experience that anything ever had a happy ending.  She is you.  You bore your soul to me in that book without even knowing it… Just like you trusted me with your story today… I just want you to know, Ali, that you have captured my heart already… You captivated me with your book, and you mesmerize me with everything you say.  And, I know I just met you, and as that stupid song says, ‘ and this is crazy’- but I find myself wanting to prove to you that those fairytales you want to believe in can really exist in the real world.  I want to take care of that bruised and battered heart of yours. I don’t want another day to go by where you feel all alone, like you said in the opening chapters.  I found myself thinking-as I was reading the novel- that whoever wrote this book was really smart and insightful. I know you were meant to be a writer.  You were meant to touch people with the written word, just as you touched me. We were meant to find each other.  I believe that.  A lot of people don’t discover that until six months into their relationship… but I’ve known since about ten minutes after we met. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I hope to God that it holds the two of us together, because I’ve never met someone as awesome as you.”

Her mouth was dry, but that was probably because every ounce of water in her body seemed to be flowing out of her eyes and running down her cheeks. That’s exactly what I always dreamed someone would say to me. This isn’t a dream.  This is real… But it’s like every dream I’ve ever dreamt. He thinks I’m awesome. He listens to me when I talk, no matter what I’m saying.  He seems to get me more than I even get myself sometimes.  How can this be?! We JUST met!  But yet, it’s like I’ve known him my whole life… It’s like he’s always been here.  I’m so comfortable with him, and I HATE meeting new people! I know he was put in my life for a reason.  Why else would all these things be happening this way?  Why would I be so open with a stranger if God didn’t intend this person- this man OF God for me.  And He always knew that I didn’t want to mess around when it came to guys.  I didn’t want to date a lot of boys before finding The One.  I’ve had enough pain and rejection.  The Lord knew I just needed one.  My characters in my novels did my dating for me.  I guess He thought I was ready, so He sent this great, sweet, intelligent, hard-working gentleman that obviously loves Him to love ME.  She realized, smelling the traces of cologne still remaining on Evan’s shirt.  She burned it into her memory, along with everything he had said, and everything she had just thought.  And, she hugged him, saying, “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard…” and she looked up at him, smiling, “I’m kinda wondering, Mr. Grayson- how you somehow located my diary and read the pages where teenage Me wrote all about what Mr. Right would say to me.”

He had been holding his breath, she could tell, waiting for her to respond, and he sighed relief now, actually winding up with a big smile and an emotional chuckle… the kind that only comes when one is truly pleased with something that’s been said-when something means the world to them…

               “And I’m wondering, Miss Hartley; how you knew that’s exactly how I always pictured Miss Right replying to my promises of devotion.”

She laughed, tears still streaming down her cheeks.  He kissed her forehead, sweet and tender.  She felt her skin tingle with the kiss.  Her heart beat loud enough that she could swear he’d hear it. She closed her eyes and she knew…

Evan was unwilling to do anything more than kiss Ali’s forehead at the moment.  This was a sweet moment, and as much as he really wanted to kiss her lips, he refrained simply because he knew there would be plenty of time for it.  Ali Hartley was going to be in his life for a long time.

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Chapter 7

               There was something in the way he looked at her that told her everything without saying a word.  Caitlen was disinclined to believe it at first.  She had no reason to believe that anyone would ever do that.  She had no reason to believe that someone would know how to love her without being told.  But, as she stood there, looking into Jake’s brown eyes, she couldn’t help but melt into a puddle at his feet.  She couldn’t help but dream of that house on the corner… The Victorian one with the purple shutters and the white picket fence… She couldn’t help imagining herself in a white dress saying vows and making promises, with all of her friends around her as she made the most important decision she’d ever make in her life.  Caitlen also couldn’t help imagining the look on his face when he was handed their first child, or the way he’d look in the morning when the sunlight shone on his gorgeous face.  She wanted to believe everything that she had ever heard about fairytales.  She knew that if anyone could do that, Jake could.  He was someone you hold onto.  He was someone that you let love you even when you find it hard to trust anyone.  And then, he kissed her forehead and said, “You don’t love yourself half as much as I love you.” It was a sad voice.  His heart was breaking for her, and it was then that she decided that none of the pain that she had been through was worth losing the best thing that had ever happened to her.

She had to let go of all the pain from her childhood- all those scars that had been healed, and then ripped back open, and then healed once again. She had to let go of all the bitterness that had seeped into her heart.  She had to forgive those stubborn people who kept working themselves back into her thoughts even after she thought she had forgiven them.  She wasn’t willing to risk losing this wonderful man over it.  And even though she couldn’t change what other people had done to her in the past, but, she could change how she thought about it.  And, she could choose to use it for good.  She could choose not to let what people had told her warp her mind any more than it already had.  She could choose not to hate herself.  She wasn’t a horrible person.  She actually really never did anything horrible.  She really didn’t do anything that would even warrant her feeling this way.  WHY did she feel like she was a grotesque monster of ugliness? Why did she feel like she was at fault for everything that ever went wrong in her life? Why was this self-loathing affecting every aspect of her life?  She knew it would be hard, but, she decided in this moment that she was going to let it go.  Maybe she could love herself…  So, she answered him with a small voice that barely registered even to her.  She didn’t even know if he would hear it… But, she said, “Maybe not… But, you loving me that much-makes it easier to try.”

And in a moment, he pulled her to him with his strong arms, letting her rest against his chest, and he brought her face to his, giving her the sweetest kiss that could ever touch a girl’s heart.  And with that, Jake grinned a little and said, “Well, Cait… I guess that means I have to do this…”

In his grey suit, with the pale blue shirt, and the navy tie, he pulled out a tiny box-so small that he could have lost it easily… As she gasped, putting her hands to her face-knowing what was going to happen; Jake Bailey got down on one knee while, in the background, Frank Sinatra sang about the day when he’d marry his Lorraine… And he asked Caitlen Walsh to become Caitlen Bailey.  All she could say was, “Yes!”

And a smile crossed his face that dictated so much.  He was relieved.  He was happy. And most of all, he was so in love with her.  He wanted her to be his wife.  He wanted a house in the ‘burbs with a big yard, and that picket fence that she wanted.  He wanted her to be his friend, confidant, lover, partner, life-mate, twin soul, and he wanted to be all those things for her.  The look on his face told her all that and more.  He slipped the ring onto her finger.  She smiled because it was just what she would have picked out.  And he said to her, “May I have this dance?”

               “Mmmhmm.” She said, still in a daze.  She took his outstretched hand, and they danced around the dusty old library where they met three years ago, surrounded by the smell of paper that was aged and worn.  She watched him smile when he twirled her around.  She knew he was watching the way the skirt of her red dress was flaring out, and the way she was able to keep her balance in platform heels…  Never had she imagined that her life would end up this great.   Really, if someone as damaged as her could find love; anyone could. 

As they moved around the floor, he asked, “How do you feel about kids, beautiful?”

               “I like them.  Do you?”

               “Yes.  I like them a lot.”

               “I always see a swing-set with a boy and a girl playing together.”

He smiled and kissed her. “Me too.” And then, he said something even more surprising. He told her, “I remember that second date we went on… There was that baby that just didn’t like it that her mom set her on the counter at Target.  The mom was busy and you were right there.  That little girl reached out her chubby little arms and she leaned towards you.  She would have fallen, but you took her.  She calmed down.  The mom looked over, seeing the little one practically jump into your arms. She knew that you hadn’t been expecting it, and you weren’t a lunatic trying to hurt her child.  She knew her baby liked you… And from that moment on, Cait, I knew I wanted, more than anything, for you to be the mother of my children… I wanted to be married to you… I wanted to come home from work and see you every day.  I imagined the way your voice would answer ‘yes’ when I popped the question… Exactly how you did tonight… I imagined the look on your face when you’d tell the preacher ‘I do’.  I can just imagine the tears in both our eyes when you tell me we’re gonna be parents… And when that first baby is placed in our arms… You are the only girl I’ve ever loved.”

               “I think of all that stuff too, honey.  I know that you are the only person that truly gets me. You’re the one I trust.  I never believed in all this before you… I never thought about kids until I met you.  You opened the door to more than I could have ever thought or imagined.”

And they danced in the soft glow of the moonlight, talking about their dreams; planning their life together.

 

 

Ali spent that night tossing and turning, not being able to think of anything but Evan.  Finally, she gave up trying to force sleep that wasn’t coming.  She got out her cell phone and found his name. She called him, and on the first ring, he picked up, chuckling softly. “You know what’s really funny?”

               “What?” She was just happy to hear his voice.

               “I was just about to dial you when your number popped up.”

               “So I didn’t wake you?”

               “Well, it depends on how you look at it.” He chuckled. “I couldn’t sleep because you were all over my mind.”

               “Well, you’re just as guilty as I am dude.”

Another chuckle on the other end- “I have to see you again.”

               “Is tomorrow too soon?”

               “No. It’s a lifetime from now.”

               “We sound ridiculous.”

               “I know, but I don’t care.  Do you?”

               “No.” She giggled. “Not at all.  I just found that it was something people say in these situations, so I found it obligatory.  That’s all though.”

               “I’m glad. I want us to be on the same page here.”

               “We are… More than you think.”

She heard him walking, and she heard his refrigerator door open.  She heard a clink as if he sat something on the counter, then the sound of the fridge door shutting. She imagined that he was grabbing a bottle of IBC Black Cherry, which was, he had told her today, his favorite soda.  And, she figured she was right when she heard a drawer open, and then a plink of a cap hitting the counter.

               “Sorry about that… Getting a drink.”

               “Black Cherry?”

               “Why yes!” She heard him take a swig, and even heard the carbonation fizzing. 

               “Ha. Knew it.” She crossed the floor of her bedroom, getting her laptop, which she had brought upstairs.  She turned it on and started it booting. And then, she heard him say, “This is gonna sound wrong… Because I know what most guys mean when they say this; but, what are you wearing right now?”

She laughed at the question. “Black jogging pants from Old Navy, and a pink shirt with skulls on it. You?”

               “A pair of green plaid pajama pants and a grey concert tee reproduction for The Who.”

               “Love it.”

               “What are you up to?”

               “Oh, checking email, and adding you as a Friend on Facebook.”

               “I had turned on my computer and was just about to do that… You keep beating me.”

               “Well, if that upsets you so much, then find me on Twitter.  I’m just under Ali Hartley. I haven’t gotten that far yet.”

He laughed. “Ok.  That works.”

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By the end of the night, they hadn’t run out of things to talk about, but they had run out of the energy to talk about them, so, they just hung on the line and listened to the sound of each other’s breathing.  When they saw each other the next day, meeting for lunch at Skyline Chili; neither one of them could remember hanging up.  But now, she knew that he loved The Who and Foreigner, and The Beatles.  He knew that she liked them just as much as he did.  He knew that she was inspired by Taylor Swift songs.  She knew that he was the middle child.  His younger brother was Brad, and his older brother was Justin.  He knew that she had been hospitalized within the last year because of a cyst that blew up, and she had to have it removed.  She told him she would tell him the whole story when she wasn’t half asleep.  He told her how much he liked baseball, and how he had almost died in a car crash when he was 9.  They learned so much about each other in just a few hours.  And still, they had so much to learn about each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 8

The first week dating Ali, Evan got to find out a lot about her.  The wonderful redhead he was courting was VERY well-read.  She loved Dr. Pepper and iced coffee.  She was a good, moral girl who sort of tricked people into thinking that she was rebellious without actually looking rebellious, if that makes any sense.  She had this punk spirit that was refreshing.  She wasn’t like anyone he had ever met before.  He loved the way she talked and the way she walked.  He loved how she balanced her life.  He loved how she dressed.  She was color.  She was life.  And she was the glue that held her friends together.  She was even beautiful when she cried.  He liked the way she smelled of fruit and flowers.  He could inhale her scent for hours.  And he knew that when he met her, something had changed.  Something had clicked.  And now, a week in, Evan knew that it was too soon to be thinking this way, but he wanted her to be his first and last kiss.  He wanted to eventually marry her.  Actually-the thing that scared him was the fact that he was already ok with the idea of marriage. Holy crap! I JUST met her!  And I want to marry her?  Am I crazy?  We don’t even know each other. But, Evan stopped himself for a realization.  Nope… I know her… We just met-but- I’ve known her all my life-in a way… She’s everything I ever wanted.  She is who I dreamed of-but better…

Ali had a few quirks, and he was ok with that… He appreciated them.  For instance, Ali was kind of OCD about her movie and album collections.  She had them sorted by chronology for instance, Star Wars Episode 1 was first, and Star Wars Episode 6 was last because it was the order the story was in.  For CDs, she sorted them by how many albums she had of an artist, and then chronological from there.  For instance- Hanson was first because she had the most of their stuff.  She put their 3 Car Garage CD (a Demo they released in 1998 that was recorded in 1995-1996) first, then Middle of Nowhere-last was Shout it Out with an empty spot for the new album, Anthem ) to be released June 18^th). Next, she had Celine Dion and had all her albums in order of when they were made. Ali noticed if you touched them or moved them.  Ali also was a bit of a pack rat, when it came to newspapers and notebooks- but she was a writer… She wasn’t keen on throwing that stuff away.  Evan learned that she hated Chinese food.  Fish made her sick and she was slightly lactose intolerant.  She didn’t really like melons.  She had a scar on her right arm where she had once had a PICC line in.  She told him that she had a scar on her abdomen from her surgery, but he hadn’t seen it.  She tended to think she was unattractive, and he thought she was insane.  Ali was beautiful.  And even though she didn’t have the stereotypical blonde hair of a typical ‘pretty’ girl, he thought she was breathtaking!  She wasn’t all that tall, but her legs were long.  She had the perfect color of red hair.  Her eyes were so blue that it was as if he was looking at the clear blue water of the Caribbean.  She had an adorable nose. Her mouth was cute, as were her ears, and the general shape of her face.  She had lovely features that she didn’t see.  He loved the way she looked at him when they were talking.  He loved it when she blushed after he complimented her.  He wasn’t a big Bruno Mars fan, but, that song Just the Way You Are was perfect for her. 

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It was now 2 weeks into his relationship with Ali and Evan felt like he had been let in on some big secret.  First, she had told him her story.  They had talked about everything and nothing that night.  He had promised that he was going to take care of her.  And now, he was standing in the living room of her apartment.  He knew this was something that was reserved for very special people.  He knew it was a private thing, and he treated it like such.  He was lucky to be let in on this part of his beautiful girl’s life.  He grinned at what he saw.  Her apartment radiated everything he loved about her.  It was the perfect mixture of old and new-vintage and modern. There was a floor lamp with a chrome base and stand.  It had pink and purple shades on it.  The lamps on the end tables were damask-shaded. She had an antique letter-table by her front door, and on top was a damask ceramic bowl which she put her keys in.  He noticed that the knobs on the drawers were white porcelain with fleur de lis pattern on them.

She had a small black bookcase under her steps which was filled with cookbooks, games, and entertaining books.

By her black couch, she had a fabric bin with colored polka dots on it holding issues of Martha Stewart Living, Martha Stewart Weddings, Brides, and The Knot.

               “So, you like weddings, I take it.”

               “Yes.  Does that intimidate you, Mr. Grayson?”

               “Not really.”

               “Would it intimidate you if it were anybody else?”

               “Yes.” He admitted with a smile.

               “Good.” She looked pleased at his response.

               “Get comfortable while I pop the DVD in and get some popcorn.”

               “Alright.”

She searched for the DVD as he kept looking around her living room.  She had really good taste. He didn’t claim to know very much about decorating, but he knew enough to know that she had done a good job with the room.  He loved her funky accent-tables. “Where did you get these?” he asked, pointing to the 2 end-tables.  “Hobby Lobby.” She said.

He kept looking, seeing Closetmaid Cubicals with the fabric bins in various colors. He looked in her entertainment center where she had just retrieved the movie they were going to watch.  As she was putting it in the DVD player, he thought to himself how huge her collection of Media was… All the Back to the Future movies, 1-4 of Indiana Jones, The Star Wars Saga, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and The Hobbit… The older Spiderman movies, and then The Amazing Spiderman, which was the movie they were seeing tonight… On the wall, there was a Casablanca poster, and one for It’s A Wonderful Life, and Psycho.  There was an I Love Lucy poster in the hall.  She had coffee table books on top of the coffee table, and on the shelf inside it such as Elvis: American Idol, Celine Dion: For Keeps, and The Making of Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith.

She had a variety of coasters.  I Love Lucy, Elvis, Thirstystone coasters with ‘A’ monogrammed in the middle with flourishes on the side.  He saw the framed photos.  He could tell that they were special to her.  He really liked the one with Ali and her friends crossing a road.  She saw him looking at it. “That’s our Abbey Road, Beatles picture. We’re facing the wrong way, but you get the idea.”

               “What’s this one?” He pointed to one where she, Alyssa, Nikki, and Maddy were standing on a bridge wearing fancy, big hats and sundresses. “Derby Day at my parents’ house.”

               “Wow.  You guys have a lot of parties.”

               “We certainly do.”

The first preview had played, and Ali went into the kitchen to get the popcorn. 

He laughed at a picture of the girls looking all prissy with roses and girly umbrellas, and fans…

               “What dost make thou laugh?” She called as the microwave door shut.

               “This picture with the feminine allure.”

               “Oh, the one where I have the umbrella… Maddy has the rose… Nikki has a fan, and Alyssa is holding a big key?”

               “Exactly.”

He saw pictures of her family. There was a picture of her parents’ dog, Max.  It was remarkable how much he looked like his own dog.

He was very impressed.  He loved the photo book on the coffee table which was emblazoned with a collage of different photos from all the friends.  The collage also had a lot of things that had significance for the group. He wasn’t quite sure of the significance yet, but he would be.  He loved that she had a picture of a record player in her stairway.  She had some wooden Star Wars posters on the wall by her entertainment center. She had some Itso storage bins which contained tons of books about music. There was a 2 cube shelf which had photo albums.  Evan found that there were many places to sit besides the couch.  She had 2 ottomans, both with the infamous damask pattern that she was so fond of.  Then, there was a recliner in the corner that was black to match the couch.  She had a black wood chair with a hot pink cushion on it.  By now, he could smell the popcorn, and the movie was almost through the previews.  She came out into the living room with a smile and a tray which held 2 popcorn containers and 2 glass bottles of IBC Black Cherry.  She remembered. He couldn’t help but think.  He thanked her, and she said, “You’re more than welcome.” The movie was on the main menu by now, and she pressed PLAY.  They were getting together to watch The Amazing Spiderman tonight.  It wasn’t that they hadn’t seen it… they just thought it was awesome, and it would be a good movie to share with one another.  When the movie started, he smiled because Ali was smiling.  And, when Peter kissed Gwen for the first time, she surprised him by taking his hand and holding it for the rest of the movie.  Evan was trying to take it nice and easy with Ali.  He knew it would be easy to get carried away, or take things too quickly.  She was a lovely girl.  She was wonderful.  She was whimsical and funny.  She had showed him so much about himself.  She had been so open about all the trials and tribulations she had been through in her relatively short life-time. He was trying to be someone she could trust.  Life had beaten her up a bit, and he knew that she needed a little care whether she admitted it or not.  He wanted to be a gentleman.  And, he wanted to take care of her. Starting to formulate in his mind- even just after 2 weeks into their relationship, was an overwhelming feeling of devotion to her, which had even surfaced the first night he had hung out with her. She made him think about where he wanted to be in 5 years, and truth was, he wanted to be married to her in five years’ time… He knew he just met her.  He knew that it really was too soon to be planning a life with someone he barely knew; but the truth was that he already knew her better than he even knew people in his own family. 

He found it amazing that he hadn’t even kissed Ali yet. He had wanted to the first time they were in the car with each other and she was lip-syncing.  He wanted to kiss her at the end of the first date, but he didn’t want to rush her into anything.  The way he saw it; Ali was going to be in his life for a long time, so he didn’t have to hurry.  Evan had always wanted to find a good woman to settle down with and get married.  But, he never thought that it would happen so quickly, at such an unexpected time. And, it was even better than he could have ever hoped for. 

Ali Hartley watched Evan leave her apartment a little after 1 am.  She felt a tad bit empty for some reason.  She didn’t want him to leave.  She actually called his name and ran to him.  He scooped her up into his arms and gave Ali her very first kiss.  She smiled and let him go.  “I feel better now.”

               “So do I.  I really didn’t want to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss… I just didn’t want to be forward or move too quickly.”

               “You’re not being forward.”

He smiled, and took her back into his arms, shielding her from the cold wind.  “So, um… I just wanted you to know that the reason why I’ve been so reluctant to move too quickly-is only because I really respect you.  I see this going somewhere good, and I don’t want to mess it up.  I see you in my life for a long time-forever… I don’t want to be hasty… Or do anything that will ruin our relationship.

               “I know.” She grinned, squeezing his hand. “And I admire you for that.  I know it’s not easy for you.”

               “No,” He admitted. “It isn’t-especially when you look so adorable.”

               “You really think so?”

               “How could I not? You are the most beautiful woman in the world to me.”

 

 

 

Chapter 9

Evan had come with her to graduation, which was his as well. He got to meet her folks, and her sister, they got to meet him.  Ali got to meet Evan’s family too. They all found her delightful; just as Ali’s family had found Evan to be delightful.  Both sets of parents were happy for their children, having passed college.  After the ceremony, both families went out to eat at Maggiano’s Little Italy in Kenwood.  They decided to have a Fourth of July party as a joint festivity between the two families.  When this had been announced, Evan and Ali looked at each other, surprised.  “Why are you joining the parties together, mom?” They both asked at the same time.  Every year in the past, their parents had planned huge parties at their homes, and invited all their friends and family. But this year, they had decided to mix the parties, and the young people were just confused. 

               “Well, dears, we saw the two of you together and we just thought it made sense to start putting the parties together.” Diana Hartley told them.

               “Yes,” Evan’s mom, Lydia Grayson sipped her Chianti demurely. “We thought it best to just get that tradition started since its inevitable. Plus, what a perfect way to start blending our families!  We were both having the parties anyway-at the same time in fact… Why not combine the two?!”

               “Our families need to get used to each other.” Joe Hartley smiled, cutting his meat.

               “And WE need to get used to each other…” Patrick Grayson chimed in.  “After all, soon those bells will be a ringin’, kiddies.” His Irish accent was more pronounced.

Ali almost choked on her Chicken Saltimbocca, and Evan swallowed the piece of Veal Piccata he had been eating whole.  This was only a week into their relationship… And their parents were already planning their nuptials?! Ali looked at Evan who gave her a look like are we really THAT obvious? Ali shrugged, actually smiling a little in disbelief.  When Ali had gotten back to her apartment that night, she thought about everything, and she actually laughed.  If their parents could see it, then that was something.  Lydia had pulled Ali aside when Evan was in the bathroom after the food was eaten, and the leftovers were being boxed up.  She had said, “Oh, Alexandria, I have been waiting, and praying for you to come into our lives.  I’m sorry if us parents embarrassed you kids earlier, or overwhelmed you… But, darlin’, you be a breath of fresh air to this family.”

Ali’s heart was pounding as the semi-petite woman talked with her lovely accent. 

               “I am ever-so grateful for you coming into my little boy’s life.  He was always a happy child… Always a happy young man, but something was missing.  He’s a dreamer, that one.  He was the knight in shining armor when he played with the neighbor girl, Carolyn, I believe.  Evan sees things that other people can’t.  He knows people.  And, I know- he’s never met anyone like you before. At church on Sunday, he smiled when we sang, I’ll Fly Away because he knows it’s one of your favorites.  At lunch, he gushed about you, and his voice broke when he said, ‘Ma, I just-I just can’t believe that she’s in my life.’ I just smiled and told him that he better treat you like a queen.”

Ali hugged Mrs. Grayson and told her, “I’m actually the lucky one.”

Evan drove all the way to see his big brother, Justin in Oxford.  He drove there in the pouring rain.  He probably should have called, he knew.  But, he just got in the car and drove there.  He ran up the drive and to the porch, dripping from the almost-torrential May downpour.  His socks were drenched, as was his black jacket, and his shoes.  When he knocked on the door, it took but a minute for Justin to answer.  He looked surprised to see his younger brother all soaking wet on his doorstep.  “You’re drenched. But, it’s nice to see you, bro.” He invited him in and called to his wife of a year, Heather who was in the living room sorting laundry.  “Hey, babe, can you grab one of my shirts and a pair of my lounge pants from the bedroom, please? Evan decided to take a shower with his clothes on.”

               “Sure, dear.  Just a minute.” She walked into the entryway from the living room, grinned at her brother-in-law, and said, “I’m glad you stopped by.  If you hadn’t, I would have had to call you and get you and my silly husband to chat about Miss Hartley.  I know that’s what you came for.”

Heather was exactly right. Evan blushed a little, and the blonde, petite wife of his big brother shot him a knowing glance.  “I know you love her.”

And she went upstairs to get the clothes.  Justin said, “I know you’re thinking it’s too soon to be in love with her.  I know you’re a little intimidated by what the folks said after your graduation… But, we all see it. Even though we know you just met her, we find ourselves imagining her at the dinner table for Sunday dinner.  She’s with us when we carve the Thanksgiving bird… Around the Christmas tree while we sing carols at the piano.  We see her in that white dress standing beside you in your tux that you hate so much.  Heather told me she added Ali as a friend on Facebook and she felt like she was just finding her sister… Evan, don’t be scared of the short time you’ve known her.  She’s great.  And, you’ve been doing everything right with her.”

Evan took a deep breath, letting his brother’s words sink in. Before the two young men said anything else, Heather came back down the stairs and said, “Here they are.  Now, take off your wet things in the bathroom, and put these on. I’ll wash and dry your stuff and bring it when we come for church on Sunday.”

               “Alright.  Thanks, Heather.” He noticed something in her posture that was different.  He noticed that she was very smiley and had a glow about her.  She looked at Justin with a look of pride, and gratefulness.  He knew what it was, but, he figured that if they wanted to tell him their news, they would tell him, so he didn’t say anything. But, when she handed the clothes to him, she said, “You’re going to be an uncle, Ev… I just thought you should know… since you’re here… And you can tell Ali… We can start plotting about the shower and the nursery… She said she likes kids…”

               “She does.” Evan smiled, embracing his sister-in-law, and saying, “Congratulations, you guys… I’m so happy for you…”

Evan was excited about being an uncle.  He texted Ali while he was getting dressed.  “I’m gonna be an uncle! Justin and Heather are expecting! Just found out.”

A few seconds later, she texted back; “Yay! I love babies!  And I love baby showers, and picking out registry stuff…”

               “She will be ever-so-grateful, I know.”

               “My first experience as an auntie…” She sent. 

He was taken aback by that for a moment, but then, he knew that his family had been enveloping her into their little unit.  “Are you free tonight?” He asked, finding himself wanting to be with her, wanting to kiss her… Wanting to tell her that he loved her…

               “I sure am!  Pick me up anytime, or tell me when to come over or I’ll meet you-anywhere… Anytime…”

               “Hey, Al…um… I think they’re right about us…”

She sent a smiley face and said, “Me too.”

 

Evan and Justin talked once Evan was out of his wet clothes.  “I’m going to tell her tonight… That I love her… I can’t wait another day… I am going insane trying to keep it in… I wasn’t so much scared of being in love with her… I was scared that if I told her, she would get freaked out.  I just didn’t want any chance of losing her.”

His brother smiled and patted his back.  “We all go through that… But, she already knows you love her.  Maybe her brain hasn’t realized it… But her heart has… I see the way she looks at you, bro.  Trust me, you won’t be telling her anything shocking…”

               “That bad thing is that, even before I said anything about love-I already knew I wanted to marry her.”

               “You knew you loved her that first day, little brother.  She told you about her past. She said that she only told people that she trusted about her past.  She knew you were going to be in her life from that moment on… Maybe she didn’t know it was love… maybe she wasn’t picking out her china patterns yet, but, that door was open.”

               “So, I could just go to her right now and ask her to marry me?!” His eyes were wide.

               “Is that what you want to do?” Justin answered carefully.

Evan thought about it for a moment. “Honestly, yes.”

               “Do you think that’s what Ali wants?”

Now, Evan thought about that.  And as he was thinking, his phone buzzed in his pocket.  Normally, he would think it rude to stop in the middle of the conversation, and answer, but, he felt he had to see what this was.  He saw on the screen of his Android, “1 Text Message from Ali’s Cell”

He tapped the button to view the message which said, “I miss you.  And, I want you to know that I’m aware of the fact that we haven’t known each other that long… But, that doesn’t change my feelings towards you.  I can’t wait to see you tonight.  I’ll be at the restaurant at 6 sharp with bells on. Have a safe drive back!”

And he smiled, answering Justin’s previous inquiry. “Yes.”

               “Well then… Let me go find the wife, and tell her I’ll be back to her and Junior soon.  We’re shopping for a ring.”

Ali Hartley sat with Maddy, Nikki, and Alyssa in Panera Bread, trying to calm herself down.  She didn’t know why she was getting so nervous and giddy.  She didn’t know why she felt like something was going to change drastically in her life. She literally had no idea. Her friends were trying to figure it out too. Maddy, being the shrink-in-training took the first shot at it.

               “Well, let’s start with what we know…” She sipped her coffee.  “1. You have a boyfriend 2. You’re in love with him 3. You love his parents and siblings 4. He loved you, and he loves your family. 5. You weren’t originally going to see him tonight, but he texted you in the middle of the day to tell you that his brother and his sister-in-law are expecting.  You were excited.  You offered your help and said you were going to be an ‘auntie’ which implies that you and Mr. Grayson are more of an item.  Shortly after, Evan texts you and asks if you’re free tonight. You gush that you have nothing to do and you’ll meet him anywhere, anytime. You arrange to meet at The Cheesecake Factory, and then, later, you send him a text about the fast pace of the relationship, but you say that the fact that you JUST got together doesn’t change the way you feel about him. You say you miss him and are excited about seeing him. 6. Not more than a minute later, he sends you a text that says, ‘I miss you too, and I feel the same way, babe.  Gosh! I can’t wait to see you!’ That’s something.”

               “Maddy’s right.” Nikki said.  “I think you better get prepared for all those dreams you have to come true…”

               “Flip through your Look Book and prepare to get engaged.” Alyssa laughed.

 

 

 

Chapter 10

Evan panicked when he got in the car to go to the jewelry store.  He had no idea what Ali liked, or what her ring size. What if he really didn’t know her as well as he thought he did?  What if she said no?  He really didn’t think she would…actually, he knew in his heart that she wouldn’t. She and he hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time.  Even though his heart knew that she was in love with him, and he knew that she could possibly see this proposal as being a bit too soon.  Since they had known each other less than a month, it seemed absurd, even to Evan, and HE was the one doing the asking.  When he freaked out about the ring size, Justin put a gentle hand on his brother’s back, and said, “When I asked Heather to marry me, I didn’t know her ring size… We dated 2 years… Remember, little brother; Ali LOVES weddings.  And, I know she adores you even more.  Anything you give her, she’ll love.  And, you have good taste, whether you realize it or not.  As far as the ring size goes, I remember Ali’s sister, Alyssa saying that she had ordered those friendship rings about a year ago… She had to know everyone’s sizes in order to do that… She’ll know, so ask her. Call her up.  She gave you her number in case of emergencies… This is an emergency.”

Evan took a deep breath and took out his phone, finding Alyssa’s number, and pushed the CALL button. 

She picked up in 2 rings. “Hmm, why sir are you calling me?” She laughed.

               “I need a favor… do you know Ali’s ring size?”

Silence on the other end… But then, he heard Oh my gosh… “She’s a 7.  This isn’t just one of those friendship rings, or a promise ring, is it?”

               “No, it’s an engagement ring… You’re right.  I love your sister, and I want to marry her.”

               “That’s—absolutely wonderful!  One thing- go see our dad first… Ask his permission.  I know he already basically walked you guys down the aisle, and named your firstborn… But, he’d like to be asked.  Plus, my sister is a mushy gushy romantic.”

               “Actually, I was going to do that, and I was just too chicken to ask…”

               “Well, do it.  Trust me. I know my dad and sister better than anyone, and I’m telling you that whatever fear you have about asking Ali to marry you is going to go away when you talk to Dad.”

Evan didn’t doubt it, so he changed his course and headed to Ali’s parents’ house in Miami Heights.  He had only been there once, when he and Ali were on a date and it began to pour down rain, soaking them to the bone. Her parents weren’t home, and the house was quiet, save for the family dog, Max… Evan had been struck by how similar the dog looked to his own… Ali had been dripping wet, her jeans stuck to her skin, and her shirt was really forming to her body.  He had to try not to think about how attractive she looked. She had gone up to her old room and changed after grabbing a robe for him to change into while she threw their wet stuff in the washer. And, even though she was in the other room, Ali could still sort of see him, and he caught a glimpse of her stealing a glance at him when he removed his t-shirt to throw it into the laundry basket. He remembered that now… And he remembered the way she showed him around the house that she had lived in before she moved out on her own. It was cute when she had showed him her room.  It was painted blue with blue carpet.  She had some funky lamps, and black bookshelves, and colored fabric bins… And, there were books. He had said, “Gosh, girl, how many books do you HAVE!? You have a lot at your apartment, but you have just as many here!” She had chuckled and said to him, “These books are old. They are all books I’ve read except for this shelf here.” She pointed to the books under her nightstand.  “These are books I read when I come for weekends or holidays.” He loved that she had Hanson and Star Wars posters on her wall, and lots of picture frames all over the room.  Evan’s breath caught as he drove, thinking about that night.  He was still on the phone with Alyssa who finally said, “You got really quiet.”

               “Sorry.  I was just thinking about one rainy night… Anyway…”

Alyssa said, “She knows you’re going to propose, you know? She’s thrilled.  So, don’t worry too much.”

               “She’ll say yes?”

               “You bet.”

He was relieved, and he didn’t need to tell her that.  She already knew. “Would it make you feel better if I told you a little bit about her, from a sister’s point of view? It may tell you things that she wouldn’t think to…”

               “I’d like that.  I want to know her as well as I can.”

               “Well, ok then.” She paused, obviously taking a sip of something. “You have made my sister a much happier person. I just want you to know that.  Don’t get me wrong; she was always a pretty happy person despite everything. You just- restored her faith in people.  When she met you, she became less moody and depressed.  She hasn’t worn that much black… She’s always smiling. I know you don’t want to take credit for that, but you should.  It’s all you. She gives you the credit, as do I.”

               “Are you ok with all this?”

               “Of course. Are you insane?!”

               “More than I care to admit.” He laughed.

               “Funny.” She then she said, “My sister is tough.  She hasn’t had it easy.  You already know that… She told you about her medical stuff… And how she was teased… That’s just the tip of the iceberg.  She doesn’t really talk about these things because she finds it depressing, and she doesn’t want to depress people.  Last year was really rough on her.”

               “Her surgery?” He guessed.

               “Yes… But before that, she had an infection in her leg.  It started with a breakout of that eczema. 

She was going to doctors constantly trying to get it taken care of.  She was just exhausted.  And depressed because nothing seemed to work… They would sort of get it taken care of, but there was always something left.  She just wanted it to be over with. She was stuck.  And then, they found the tumor.”

Evan had heard bits and pieces of this story, but, he hadn’t known that all this stuff was happening at the same time.  “How did they find it?” He asked.

               “She had never been to the OB/GYN before, and she was scared to death… She freaked out when they went to do the exam, and they couldn’t do it, so they made her go in and have a sonogram.  And when they did that, they found it.  It was the size of a basketball, from what they could see, so they sent her to get an MRI.  And, they found that it was even bigger than they thought it was. So, they had to operate.  She was oddly calm about the whole thing.  Our minister came to the house, and prayed with her.  He even seemed surprised at her calmness.  She was very serene.  Almost too serene.  Ali’s not afraid of death… The scary thing is that I think she welcomes death sometimes.  She’s not suicidal or anything.” Her tone changed at the end because she didn’t want to scare him. “She just gets sad and tired of the pain she goes through.  It never seems like anyone truly understands her… Except those closest to her…”

               “So she wouldn’t take her own life, she just sometimes wishes she could just be done with the world?”

               “Yeah… But, she doesn’t do that now. That’s all you.  She knows that she has been rewarded for all the trials she’s stayed strong in.  She believes that God was giving her life lessons, and she passed the test, so, as a reward, she got you… You should know what a dreamer she is.  My sister has wanted to find someone and get married for the longest time.  I can’t even tell you how much she likes weddings.”

               “That’s good though… I’m glad she’s a dreamer…  And I’m glad that I’ve been able to make her happy.”

               “You’ve done more than that. In a way, you saved her life, just like Jack saved Rose in Titanic.  You have been so instrumental in her healing.”

He found himself blushing as he drove. 

Alyssa continued, “The worst part about that surgery was the fact that they couldn’t do a biopsy before the surgery.  There was really no way to know if it was really a tumor, or if it was just a cyst, and there was no way of knowing if it was benign or malignant until they cut her open.  Something else to know about my sis is that Ali is terrified of Cancer. She can deal with just about anything else, but she didn’t want to deal with that.  But, when they tested it, it was benign… She was so relieved.  So were the rest of us.”

Evan was flabbergasted. He hadn’t known that part of it.  “She just-looks so healthy.”

               “Yeah. She does. But it took a long time to get to that point.  Did you know that she was in the hospital to have an IV for antibiotics? She was that sick… Then, she had to have a PICC Line put in and have a pump attached to her giving her antibiotics throughout the day once she got home?”

               “I didn’t know that.”

               “She has a scar on her arm from it… Anyway, she also had gained a lot of weight… And couldn’t lose it… But then, she had the surgery, and the cyst had been over 30 pounds of fluid. She lost more than just that weight. She lost another 2 or 3 in the hospital, and then, she lost a lot once she got home.  She was feeling a lot better.  And, she finally overcame the infection in her leg.  It was a long, hard road, but she has finally recovered.”

               “I’m getting a very brave girl.” His breath caught.

               “Yes. And you know what? She figured out how to do online school, and she finished that semester better than the school thought. Then, she went to school in the summer while working…She hadn’t really been able to write for a while, but then, she started typing furiously as wrote her first novel. She sent it in to a publishing company even though she was scared of rejection.  They loved the book and decided to publish it.  With that under her belt, she wrote her next novel.”

               “That’s just-wow…”

               “Yeah… And now, fun facts about Ali… She hates to be outside for the most part.  She DOES like baseball though, and she likes to read out there when it’s nice.  She doesn’t want a beach honeymoon.  She’d rather go some place historical.  Her favorite song is Jukebox Hero by Foreigner. She knows all the words to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Ali kicks butt at the karaoke bars, and she rocks when we play Rock Band as a singer.  She hates rye bread.  She doesn’t like fish.  She loves spicy food.  She LOVES dark chocolate.  She’s a bookworm.  She could be someone’s Phone-A-Friend on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.  She’s afraid of knives and used to be afraid of the oven.  She feels claustrophobic in large crowds.  She used to have really bad allergies.  She could probably recite verbatim every line in all 6 Star Wars films.  She knows every Hanson song.  She loves Elvis, and her guilty pleasure song is Take It Off by Ke$ha.”

He had to chuckle at that.

               “She belts out Taylor Swift songs out of nowhere. She . Hates. Pineapple! She keeps notebooks by her bed.  Her real collection, however, is in a big Rubbermaid tub in the hall closet.  She has been typing these for a good year now.  She’s obsessed with musicals. She has like 100 bottles of nail polish and 4 of them are black. She takes her coffee strong, but with 4 sugars, and 2 creamers. She either orders the Bacon Egg and Cheese Bagel, or the Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit when she gets McDonalds for breakfast. She has a tattoo of a star on her right hip.  She can do a very good Singin’ in the Rain (In A Flat) like in the film. She basically has her wedding planned.  And, she adores you.”

 

Chapter 11

Ali bought a new dress to wear.  It was a hot pink, silk dress that had a white lace overlay on the top. She paired it with white high heels… She wore drop-pearl earrings and sprayed a little Juicy Couture on her neck and wrist.  She curled her hair and put it up fancily.  Maddy, Nikki and Alyssa had come to help beautify her. Not that you really need it. They had all said. 

               “Do you think Evan will like the ensemble?”

               “Of course, who wouldn’t?  You look amazing…” Maddy laughed as if the question had been absurd. 

               “Yeah, Ali, and Evan loves you… He wants to marry you, and that means that he expects that he’s going to see you on the good, AND the bad days, which means that he isn’t expecting you to look perfect all the time… That’s one of the many things love is…” Seventeen-year-old Nikki sighed.

               “You’re still doing ok, with good old Brian, right?” Ali asked.

               “Yeah… We’re trying to just play it cool… We’re young…”

Everyone knew she was exaggerating the “coolness” of their relationship, but no one said anything.  Everyone knew how Nikki felt about Brian, and how Brian felt about her.  It was obvious, but with them being so young, they knew they couldn’t really move forward in their relationship until they had certain things accomplished.  Brian had graduated the past year from high school, and had just finished his first year of college.  Nikki was newly graduated from high school, as was Alyssa, who was very quiet.  Everyone knew why she was quiet.  She felt like everyone had someone except her.  She knew that she was young, and it wasn’t even that she was looking for anything too serious at this point in her life, but, she just didn’t want everyone else to find someone, fall in love, get married, and start having kids before her. She knew that Harry and Maddy were together, as were Nikki and Brian.  Andy had a new girlfriend every few months, but hey, he was a teenager, and of course, Ali was jumping into marriage with Evan.  Ali saw the look on her sister’s face and put an arm around her. “Sis, you’re 18.  There is plenty of time to fall in love. Plus, I know that Evan knows a lot of  guys… Church-going, friendly guys with jobs…  working on their education… We’ll have you squared away in no time. You’re beautiful and creative… You’re funny… And you can cook… three wonderful traits.”

At that, Alyssa smiled.  This made the whole group of girls feel better, and everyone continued pampering their about-to-be-engaged friend. 

Ali found herself nervous as all-get-out.  She was fidgeting.  Finally, Maddy said, “Calm down! Evan IS going to ask you to marry him, and I know that makes you think a little too much.”

               “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

               “Yes you do, and so do I.  When Harry proposed, I rethought our relationship; I wondered if it was too soon, I worried about whether or not he was really the right one, whether I would be able to finish school and go on to grad school…whether or not I would be able to have a career, and a husband… I was concerned that I could possibly not be able to have a career if I got pregnant… All that… I know you’re wondering these things, and I know you’re afraid of going too fast, of this happening too soon.  I know you are wondering how you could know you love someone so much that you didn’t even KNOW six months ago… But, you can and you do.  And Evan-he’s fantastic!  He’s everything you ever told us you wanted, and so much more.  You’re freaking out wondering if you’ll say the right thing, or do the right thing. You’re afraid that you may say ‘no’ when you mean to say ‘yes’…. But, you don’t need to be afraid, bestie.  You met Evan for a reason.  He loves you for a reason. And, I know that God put you in each others’ lives for a reason.  He meant for the two of you to be together.  And, the fact that you 2 knew it so early on is a sign that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.”

That actually did the trick for Ali.  She took a deep breath, and was ok with everything.

When the girls left, Ali saw her iPhone light up and start buzzing on the table, so she went to answer it.  She had a call from Justin, Evan’s brother. She thought it was a bit peculiar, but, she answered it none-the-less.  “Hello.” She said.

               “Hi, Ali.  You’re probably wondering why I called.”

               “Yes, honestly.”

               “Well, I just wanted to tell you a little about my brother… he can be a little shy, and doesn’t like to say too much about himself… Plus, a lot of the time, he just doesn’t think to tell people. But, you’re the love of his life, and you’re about to be his fiancé, so I figured I should call you so I know what you’re getting.”

               “Nothing bad?” She smiled, knowing that there wouldn’t be anything Justin could tell her that would be a deal-breaker. 

               “Nope.  He’s a good guy.”  He chuckled on the other line. “My brother was a preemie… he weighed in at only 3 lbs when he was born… There were some things that complicated my mom’s pregnancy… The doctors looked at the sonogram and they thought that Evan would have something of a handicap, or that he would be born with some horrible disease.  They tried to get my mom to have an abortion, early on in the pregnancy… She said,  No way! This is MY baby, and I love it, I don’t care if he’s sick and I have to devote my life to his care.  I’m not going to play God.  If He wants my baby, it’ll break my heart, but, He knows what He’s doing more than I do.  She switched doctors, and hospitals, and Evan, even though he was tiny and sickly at first, was born with no serious issues.  She smiled and told the doctors that he was her miracle.   She was happy.”

Ali felt her breath catch, and she put a hand over her heart.  “So am I.  If she hadn’t been so strong in faith- there wouldn’t be an Evan…” She realized how empty her life would have been.  She realized how much she loved Evan, and how much she always would.  All her fears and trepidations about getting hitched so soon were gone.  She didn’t know where she would be if she hadn’t met him- a world without Evan in it.

As if Justin knew what she was thinking, he said, “He adores you.  You’ve changed his life as much as he’s changed your’s.”

               “You’re right about that.”

               “I can’t imagine my life without him any more than you could, Ali.  Before Evan was born, I was so lonely… I kept asking mom and dad to give me a baby brother or sister… And I prayed to God to give me a playmate… And He did… I know you’ve prayed for a good guy to love you, for you to love.  And sure enough, He granted your request.  Evan is SO sweet on you, Ali… And just so you know- he’s never even LIKED another girl.  He’s never asked anyone out-until he met you.  You were his first kiss.”

               “Really?” Her heart pounded in her ears.

               “Yes.”

She took a deep breath, and Justin continued. “You know that car accident that he was in when he was 8?”

               “Yes.” She remembered how much it had bothered her when he first told her about it, and she remembered how quiet he had said it. She had known that it was a difficult subject for him.

               “It was a drunk driver… the guy walked away without a scratch while Evan and dad were rushed to the hospital bleeding to death … Evan’s lung collapsed… Dad was ok.  He broke his leg, and his torso got a bit bruised… a few scratches and burns, but nothing some bandages, Aleve, and a cast couldn’t handle.  Evan on the other hand- he barely survived.  He missed a lot of school… But, Evan was determined not to fail.  And, he worked his tail end off to pass the third grade.  He’s very gifted.  And he worked hard. I’ll never forget how hard he studied and worked at his piles of homework… his diligence…And he did the homework the surgeon and his primary care doctor suggested… And soon, you’d never know he was in an accident, except for a scar where they operated on his lung and one from where the seat belt was pushed into his skin…”

Ali knew at this moment that she had found a very special guy, and she knew that while Evan seemed to think SHE was the strong one, he was just as strong.  And he had pushed himself… He was hard-working… He had overcome a lot of obstacles to get where he was today.

Justin continued, “Our Aunt Hilde bashed his artistic abilities, and said that it was a ‘lazy career choice’, but Evan has proven her wrong, and had gotten a scholarship to UC for their Art Program.  He has a degree in art now, and he works at one of the biggest publishing firms in the Tri-State area.  Do you know that he chose Smith and Caine because he liked their mission statement the best…? There were two other firms interested in him, that were offering the same salary, and were the same distance away- but, he didn’t like what they stood for as much as Smith and Caine. He still feels that way.  And he said that there was really no other reason for him to pick that place other than that.  When he got your book, he had mainly been doing co-designing with the covers, and illustrating… But, your book was his first real assignment.  He was nervous about it.  I remember though, that when Evan got your book, he called me up just to tell me that he couldn’t really tell me anything-because the book hadn’t been released yet, but, he had just read the most amazing novel, and was designing the cover all by himself.  He seemed perturbed that he couldn’t do any more any sooner…  He told me, ‘This girl is cool. I really want to meet her’.”

               “He’s too sweet.” She blushed.

               “You guys were meant to be.” He said matter-of-factly.

Ali twirled around in a circle, content, and said, “I hope he knows how much he’s loved by me.”

               “He does.” Then he said, “My brother loves the color Green.  He likes baseball, football, colored pens… He loves Mac N Cheese. He eats Italian food, Chicken and Skyline ALL THE TIME.  He likes to go to the theater.  He loves Dr. Pepper and he loves IBC Black Cherry.  His favorite breakfast food is French Toast, Eggs, and Bacon.  He loves pizza and LaRosa’s Chicken Bacon Ranch is his favorite… He takes off the onions though-and adds pepperoni on top.”

               “That’s my favorite too… And that’s exactly what Alyssa and I do… Small world…” She laughed, knowing that her and Evan were going to get along just fine in their relationship. 

               “He can play guitar… He can do an Irish jig.  He has a scar on his hip from where he scraped his side on a fence when sled-riding… He sings show-tunes in the shower.  He hates Monopoly unless it’s Star Wars, and he never plays by the rules.  He has seen the whole saga at least 10 times.  Even Episode 1.”

Ali chuckled at that. 

               “His middle name is Christopher.  He was born at Christ Hospital on November 4^th 1991.”

She gasped a little.

               “What?” Justin asked, concerned.

               “It’s just- that’s where I was born… The same year… and my birthday is the 5^th of November.”

Justin actually laughed a little. “Wow.  That’s really something… Where did you go to pre-school?” He asked.

               “I didn’t. My parents didn’t think I needed it.  And I have been told that I learned far more because my parents taught me at home…”

               “That’s exactly what happened with us… My parents are VERY smart, and loving… So, we knew how to read at a 2^nd grade level by the time we reached Kindergarten. It’s nice to know that there’s someone like us…”

               “I am very grateful for that opportunity…” Ali said.

               “So am I… I know that goes for Brad and Evan too.”

Ali was amazed at how similar she and Evan were…

               “My brother feels like he was born to be someone great.  He believes that his mission in life is to make people happy, to be a blessing to someone… He wants to give people hope. He has done a pretty good job, even in his childhood, but there was always something missing.  He always told me, even at a young age, that he wanted to be married one day-to a nice girl, and he wanted to be there for her.  He said, that’s all I really want. He was 9, lying in a hospital bed with an IV in his arm, taking uncertain breaths at the time… You’re that nice girl he always dreamed of.”

               “I always wanted that same thing.  I wanted to find someone and be there for them.”

               “I know, Ali.  You’re just what I always hoped he would get as a wife…”

               “Evan is going to be a good husband. I already know that… I know he’s going to be a good companion.  I have always known that-even from the very beginning.”

               “And you know what, Ali? He knows the same thing about you.  He’s known since he met you.”

 

Chapter 12

The phone call with Evan’s brother had made it a lot easier for Ali to stop worrying about where the relationship was going.  And while she was coming to the realization that there was nothing else to worry about, Evan was discovering the same thing.

 The walk up to Ali’s parents’ house was a bit intimidating, just because he knew what he was about to do.  He had called to make sure Ali’s dad was home.  And now, he kept rubbing his hands together, wiping his hands on his jeans nervously.  Joe Hartley was a man of 52 who still had most of his reddish brown hair, and a little bit of a paunch, but not too much… He came out to greet Evan with a handshake… “Hello, son.” He said warmly.  “I’m so glad you dropped by.”

               “You are?”

               “Of course. Come on in.”

Evan followed Joe into the entry-way and into the great room.  To Evan’s surprise, there were two tall glasses of lemonade, and pizza waiting for him. Even though Joe obviously knew what Evan was there for, he didn’t mention it.  Instead, he asked, “So, what brings you here, my boy?”

               “Mr. Hartley, I am madly in love with your daughter, Ali, and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage… She means everything to me, and I long to spend my life with her- working side-by-side with her, and sharing the joy of life and love with her… Sitting beside her in church on Sunday… raising a family with her… And I long to spend every day of my life honoring the vows we’ll make to each other.  I want to be a part of her family, and I want her to be part of mine… for the rest of our lives. That’s what brings me here.”

Joe took a long sip of lemonade, and cut a slice of pizza for himself and Evan, grinning while he did so.  He plopped the pepperoni pizza slice on Evan’s plate first and said, “Good answer! I swear you young bucks are too sharp…” And he plopped a slice on his own plate saying, “Of course you can marry my daughter.  I know you’ll take care of her.  You have a job.  You have integrity-faith… You are everything I ever wanted for my little princess and more… Now have a slice of this pie before it gets cold.”

Evan had been surprised at how easy that had been.  He knew that Joe liked him, but he didn’t know that the ‘asking for her hand’ thing was going to be so easy.  Alyssa had been right; he felt a lot better.  And after he finished the pizza on his plate, Ali’s dad hugged him and said, “Take care of yourself, son.”

Later on, when Evan was picking out the ring, he got a notification from Facebook that Joe had added him as a friend…  Evan chuckled and replied “Add”. A few minutes later, it sent him back, “You are now friends with Joseph Hartley”

Ali watched the car pull up in the drive, and she felt butterflies in her tummy as she watched him come to her door. She took one last glance in the mirror and smiled. She was as perfect as she was going to be.  There was no more fear. There was just a place of calm over her entire body.  She smiled knowing that tonight was the night when her real life would begin.

While walking from the parking lot, down the sidewalk that led to Ali’s door; Evan straightened his tie.  He saw her outline from behind the curtains and felt better knowing that she was waiting anxiously for him.  He found himself thinking even her shadow is beautiful.  His lady love opened the door and welcomed him with a kiss. “I’m so happy to see you!” Actually, the words came before the kiss, but he registered them after…

               “And I’m happy to see you!” He picked her up and twirled her around, her feet not touching the floor. Then, when he brought her back down, he rested his forehead against her’s –able to smell the fresh scent of her hair, something light and fruity and wonderful. He made out the light scent of her perfume and found it intoxicating.  She was so precious to him that he reveled in even the smallest of details. Then, he said it, and when he did, it was like a huge weight was lifted off his heart and the angels were singing up in Heaven.

               “I love you.”

He said it softly and tenderly.  Ali Hartley felt her spine tingle as this gorgeous, wonderful man before her said those three beautiful little words.  She had known of his love pretty much since they started going out, and she had consequently realized her feelings for him at the same time.  She knew why he hadn’t said anything, and she hadn’t been upset about it. But know, he said it so clearly, and she felt the meaning of his words.  And she squeezed his hand, saying, “And I love you.”

Evan felt his heart soar. She loves me. She loves me!  Really LOVES ME!  He also liked that she had chosen the words, “And I love you.” Instead of the more normal, but less-meaningful, “I love you too.”

He had known she loved him… But hearing it was something else.  He also knew, from her wording, without even having to hear it from her-that she knew the only reason he didn’t confess his love for her right away was because he didn’t want to scare her off.  And he stood there, holding her tight, drinking the moment in.  And when they finally parted, he took a look at her, which he hadn’t had the opportunity to do yet… She was radiant.  Breathtaking in that pink dress with the lace, and her high heels… She looked gorgeous… and he blushed, knowing that it was for him.  He didn’t have to be told that it was new. He actually felt tears come to his eyes as he looked at her enchanting beauty.  All he could come up with was “Wow.” At first, and then, after a sharp intake of air, and a sharp exhale, he finally finished with, “You are SO incredibly beautiful!”

She blushed a little. “Really?” She looked up at him once they were in the car.  He smiled, leaned over the gearshift, and kissed her. “You are so pretty, and gorgeous, hot, adorable, breathtaking, radiant, and mesmerizing…  You are the most enchanting person I’ve ever met… And I’ve thought you were beautiful since the moment I met you… I’ll always see your beauty-that’s a promise… And I’ll always tell you.”

               “You know what?” She said, looking over at him, “You’re amazing! And you’re looking quite dashing yourself. I’m certainly getting a well-dressed gentleman!” She watched him blush as he pulled out onto the road. “And, Evan, I promise that I’ll always make you feel handsome.  I’ll always remind you what I see when I look at you.”

 

Chapter 13

Ali held Evan’s hand as they entered the restaurant.  She loved how the sparks flew when they touched-even simply and innocently as this, which was all that they had ever done… Ali found that she was looking forward to the day when she’d be able to wake up next to him. She decided that she’d like that very much. The two young lovebirds were escorted to their table at The Cheesecake Factory by a pretty brunette whose nametag read Samantha.  Evan wanted to order wine, but neither he nor Ali knew anything about wine… Nothing concrete anyway…so needless to say, he asked for a suggestion. She gave him a nice white wine, fairly affordable, which both young people appreciated.  They small-talked while looking at their menus and eventually, they ordered their food. 

They were happy to have some more time to talk.  Ali eventually said, “I’m really happy-and excited that we’re doing this, Evan.”

               “Do you wish it was more of a surprise?” He asked, sipping wine from his glass.

               “I don’t really like surprises… I mean, I don’t WANT to know what I’m getting for Christmas, and I like it when friends call me out of the blue, but I don’t like big LIFE surprises…”

               “Well, I guess that shoots my proposal plan…” Evan laughed good-naturedly.  “I’m glad you told me now.” Then, he reached inside his jacket, where there was a large pocket, and took out a pink CD case. “This was going to be a surprise, but since you don’t like surprises, I’m just telling you that I have something for you.”

She laughed at his sarcasm. 

He handed the CD case to her and said, “There are 2 CDs in there.  The first is a mix CD of songs that remind me of you… and the second is songs I wrote for you and about you… Stuff about us as a couple… I played them on my guitar and on the piano.”

               “You wrote songs for me?” She put a hand on her heart, touched.  “That’s-SO sweet, and romantic!  You-really wrote and composed a CD’s worth of music for me?”

               “Yep. You’re kinda great, and I really like you.” He said, purposely trying to sound like a teenage boy who just put a corsage on his prom date’s arm…

She laughed, “Well, I kinda like you too, and you’re like totally cool.”

Evan cracked up laughing at his girlfriend’s humorous reply. “Don’t look at it here… Wait till you get home.”

               “Are you shy?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

               “Yes.”

               “Well, this is really great.  How did you know what to put on it… I mean, we haven’t known each other for a long time.”

               “Well, Alyssa told me some stuff about you… and I emailed your friends… and I stalked your Facebook pages…and Twitter, and your blog…”

               “I’m impressed.”

               “You’re not creeped out?”

               “No.”

He took out a letter and said, “Well, I wrote this as a prelude to the music.” She took it with a smile and began to read aloud, in a soft voice, “To my love, Alexandria Renee Hartley: You may be wondering why I am giving you these CDs, other than just because I feel like it and I love you… The reason is mainly because I am often too shy to get the words out.  I am not as articulate as you, writer girl… Anyway, these songs are everything I try to say, but can’t, and everything I think and feel, but can’t put into words when I’m with you.  Honestly, I’m so dazzled by your intelligence, and your beauty-that it’s really hard to say these things to you… But, I promise you I will work on that…I’m struck by you… I want you to know that the only reason I was afraid to ask you the important question is that I was afraid that we hadn’t been together long enough to know each other well enough to get married… but just in the last 24 hours, I know more about you than I did before. In many ways, we’re still strangers, but I know that we have our whole lives to get to know each other.  I love you, Ali.”

A tear formed in the corner of her eye. “That’s so sweet.”

He blushed. “Read on, babe.” and wiped the tear away.

She nodded. “I have never been in love till now. It’s amazing how God brought us together.  We have so much to learn about each other yet… and I know that I can face anything difficult or unpleasant because you’re with me. I know we haven’t been together long enough to have a song, so I wrote some… And the others…well, they just serve the purpose of telling you how cool you are, and abut the things that make me think of you.  I hope you realize how happy you’ve made me.  You are the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with Forever & Always, Forever and Ever, Amen- I love you, Evan.”

Her breath caught, and she got up and hugged him tight, kissing him passionately, a first for them. And she whispered in his ear, “I think you’re the sweetest man to ever walk the face of the earth… I don’t even know what else to say- this means the world to me…” And she kissed his cheek, lovingly. “When did you find the time to do all this?” she asked.

               “Oh, I’ve been in a very creative mindset lately… And ever since I met you, my paintings and drawings have become easier, as have my musical talents… I wrote 3 songs the night we met.  Another 4 the next day, and every time I saw you, Ali-something came over me. And when I wasn’t writing music and lyrics, and painting book covers, I did this.”

He pulled out some papers with construction drawings.  Ali read the side of the page and saw, The Grayson Home: Evan and Ali and she realized, he designed us a house.

Chapter 14

 

Ali and Evan’s meal went wonderfully.  Ali was a little surprised when Evan didn’t propose at dinner.  That was the stereotypical time to propose… eventually, she just figured that he didn’t want to be too predictable.  She liked that, although she had to admit that she was a tad bit disappointed… She saw a mischievous grin on his face and knew he was doing it on purpose.  She had no idea where he was taking her after The Cheesecake Factory…  And it was only when they were in the car driving that she realized where he was taking her.  They pulled up in front of the abandoned library that she had once come to as a child.  She crinkled her brow in confusion.  “What are we doing here? This place was abandoned 3 years ago.”

               “I know that.” He grinned.  And with that, he got out of the car, went around and opened her car door for her.  Then, he fished for some keys in his jacket pocket.  He went to the front door of the old library and unlocked the front door.  Now Ali was even more confused.  “How did you get keys for the library?”

               “Wait and see, love.”

               “Ok, but I still don’t understand.” She said, shaking her head as she took his hand and they walked inside.

It smelled like old books… and dust… Evan flipped on some lights and she saw that it had some of the old things she remembered about the old building where she spent most of her childhood.  And then, she saw some of the things she remembered about Evan’s apartment, and a few things that she knew he had bought because they were something that she had in her own apartment.  She saw that, in the corner, there was a drafting table and a desk.  Ali saw that there were books on the shelves and a painting or two on the walls… There were 2 chairs sitting by the front window. Then, she saw that there were rose petals on the ground.  Then, she realized that there was something familiar about the placement of everything in the room.  And when she realized WHY it was familiar, she put a hand to her mouth and gasped in shock. It was placed exactly the way everything was in the drawings Evan had done of their future home… Before she had even fully formulated this thought, she realized that now Frank Sinatra was singing a love song about having the world on a string… And candles were lit… “What?!” was all she could come up with to say.

               “Ok, you’ve suffered enough…” Evan said with that same mischievous grin that threatened to make Ali fall even deeper in love with him and succeeded… “Well, I saw that this place had been for sale a long time… they were having a hard time getting rid of it… and, um… They gave me a really good price.”

Ali felt her heart stop.  “You bought the library? You own this?!”

               “Actually, the day we get hitched- WE own it…” He showed her the paper.  She accepted it with trembling hands. It said, “Mr. Evan Grayson & Mrs. Alexandria Hartley-Grayson” At that, Evan grabbed her hand, the paper fell to the floor amongst the rose petals, and he led her around the old library.  He showed her everything he had planned.  He even had poster boards in all the rooms with a layout of how he thought they could set things up.  They left the room that used to be the room where they sorted the books, and he took her to one of the large old conference rooms, saying. “Come on, honey… I have so much to show you.”

He had set that room up as a master bedroom.  She was flabbergasted. And he led her to the place where the kids’ books had once been held and said, “This is the nursery…” and then he added, “That’s not too presumptuous, is it- to assume that we’ll need it?”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Not at all. There’s no one else I’d even THINK to have kids with… I want my kids to look like you.”

Evan blushed, and showed her a few more things before leading her back to the main atrium of the place, and said, “Do you like it?”

               “I love it.” She couldn’t stop smiling.

               “Good. All I want is for my girl to be happy.”

               “I am…So happy… Elated… excited…thrilled… ecstatic… As long as I’m YOUR girl-I’ll be happy… And this is SO, so great.  It’s the perfect place for us…”

Evan had one last thing to show her… He took her to where the Young Adult section had been and he said, “This is going to be a room where we can do our craft. I find that I work better when you’re around me, so, I put a desk for you and a drafting table for me… I talked to Mr. O’Connor in the front office, and he said that we can be a team, if that’s something you would want…” He blushed and hung his head low as if he thought she wouldn’t like that…

               “I think that’s wonderful…” She said.  “There’s nothing I’d like more than for us to work together… we already sort of do anyway…”

               “Good.” Evan said, looking relieved, running a hand through his short hair. “Now, I want to show you something special about the nursery…” He led her back where they had been before and drew the shades back. Outside was a lawn with a fountain, and old benches where library patrons had once come to read outside. There was also a play set for kids.  She grinned brightly.  “It’s beautiful Evan!  I almost can’t say anything else about it… It’s simply beautiful…”

 

She put her arms around his neck, giving him a long kiss that sparked a fire and send electricity buzzing through his body. He knew what he was about to do. He knew what he was about to say, and the kiss from Ali made him want to do it all the more.  He got a big grin on his face when their lips parted, and he said, “Well Ali, I guess there’s just one more thing left to do.”

               “What’s that, darling?” She said, breathlessly.

He dropped down on one knee in the middle of the dusty old library and said, “Marry me.”

Even though she knew it was coming, she was still in shock.  It was all a bit surreal, but it was really happening… She said, in a breathy sigh, tears coming to her eyes- “Yes- I’ll marry you.”

And she saw his face light up like a kid’s when told they’re going to go to Disney World… “Good.” His voice cracked, and Ali knew that he was happy that she had accepted his proposal even though he knew she would say yes before he even asked… She thought it was funny that one of his main responses to her when she agreed with something he said, or she answered a question the way he hoped she would- was, “Good.” And then, he did it… He pulled out a ring and she gasped at its beauty when he slipped it on her finger, lovingly.  They embraced, and he twirled her around the room. “I can’t wait to start a life with you.” He said into her hair as he put her down.

               “We’re very blessed… I’m very blessed… I know that…” She said.

The past few hours had been a blur to Ali, but it was a good kind of blur.  It was that blur of excitement that radiated when you’re so excited you can barely stand… You can barely get out a response because you’re so happy that everything in your life is finally falling into place.  Ali now had that sense of excitement because she had everything she ever wanted and so much more.  She had always prayed that she would find someone, and she knew that God knew how much she wanted to be loved and cherished. She knew that He knew how much she wanted to be married… He also knew that she needed someone strong in faith and character… And He had given her Evan.  Her breath caught when she looked at that devastatingly gorgeous, sweet man before her as he kissed her goodnight on the porch… “I love you, Ali.” He said, forehead resting against hers… “And I’ll never forget the way you look tonight…”

He hadn’t taken her straight home.  After the proposal in the library that would now be their home- he had taken her back to his place.  Max looked delighted to see her.  “Hey, boy.” Her eyes were bright as she looked at that hairy, loveable beast.  He sat down, and let her pet him. It was almost like he was subtlety commanding her to do so… And, he looked at her as if to ask, are you going to be my new mommy?

Ali showed the creature her ring as if he were a human. The dog seemed to smile and he licked her face.  Evan laughed. “He’s thrilled to pieces that you’re going to marry me.  When I told him I was going to ask you, he ran around in circles, barking excitedly.”

Ali felt like she had come home.  She knew that the fact that Max liked her so much was a good sign… Afterall, he was the one who had gotten Ali and Evan together.  Ali hugged the dog. “I’m glad we’re friends, Max.”

The dog made a sound that could pass for a contented sigh. The feeling was obviously mutual.  Evan just smiled, and he offered his fiancé gosh he loved the sound of that-a Dr. Pepper since he knew that was her favorite.  When he went to go get it, he knew that she was looking around the room, drinking everything in. 

While Evan was getting the drink, Ali looked around and found 2 paintings on the coffee table. She also saw a slew of drawings lying beside it.  She was impressed. “These are fantastic, sweetie.”

She said it as if in awe. His heart soared when she called him Sweetie.  He could definitely get used to that. And he knew that she had seen his paintings and drawings for the house.  As he came back into his living room, she was holding the paintings. “I can see these in the entryway… We can hang a coat-rack by the door, and this can be over it…” She held up the painting of a sunset he had done the night they kissed for the first time.  And then, she pointed to the painting of a field of poppies, like in The Wizard of Oz- which he had painted the day after they met, and said, “This would look good on the right wall by the door… We could put something-a table, piano, or a TV in the other corner…And we could put that bookshelf your dad built on the right wall under the painting…”

He went over to her and just enveloped her in his arms, kissing her sweetly.  “I keep finding more reasons to love you.”

And like she had said the first day when he told her that Max liked her; she replied, “The feeling is mutual.”

Chapter 15

Alexandria Hartley couldn’t believe how wonderful the evening had been.  She had learned, from past experiences- not to over expect.  But Evan, she couldn’t predict him Evan if she tried.  He was so good at reading her.  He knew her.  He was always surprising her with every step he took.  When she got home, it was after 2 am and she was grateful that she didn’t have to go anywhere the next day.  She twirled around her living room, and as she changed for bed, she turned on the CD Evan had made for her.  She was very impressed to say the least.  He was very gifted at compiling a good mix cd, but he was also as gifted musician.  He played the second disk-composed, and sang… He had written all the songs.  She felt her heart skip a beat as she listened to the lyrics.  She loved how Evan had taken a basic melody and added something special to it.  She could almost feel his presence in the room as she listened to the songs.  She thought to herself that they were quite a pair.  Evan had a beautiful tenor voice, which kind of reminded her of Gene Kelly… which was awesome.  And the lyrics- they spoke to her heart.  There was a song called Incredible in which he had shared her story, and the story of how they met. He said in the song that she had, “captured my heart, and when we’re apart, the days seem longer and longer.”.  He had done the songs like a love letter and a biography.  She felt so loved and cherished.  He wrote a lovely song called, “Never Loved Before.” Which was the song that made her heart melt.  She loved the honesty in his voice. She could feel every emotion as if it was her feeling it, and she danced around her room. Her eyes were closed, and she somehow knew the lyrics enough to sing along even though she had never heard the songs before.  She realized that when she found Evan, she found another piece of herself that had been missing for a long time.  Evan was an honest to goodness gentleman.  He never pushed her to do anything she didn’t want to do.  He was genteel and was one of the few guys she knew that still practiced chivalry.  She wasn’t blind to the fact that he was really trying to control himself around her.  If he weren’t a man of God, she wouldn’t have fallen so hard for him.  And if he wasn’t a man of God, he would have a really hard time doing the right thing.  She knew he would be all over her if he didn’t have such a strong moral center and knew that he was going out with a woman who had that same moral center.  He had to take a breath after he kissed her at the library which he later said was to steady himself so he didn’t do something improper. She made a crack about him being so genteel and when he stiffened, she put a hand on his back and said with a sigh, “I haven’t exactly been making it easy on you, have I?” She had chuckled and given him a kiss on the cheek.

He had blushed and said, “No, you most certainly haven’t.” He looked her up and down, taking in her figure.

Actually, this was one of the things she liked the most about him.  She loved how easy it was to joke with him.  She liked that he was an upstanding guy.  She loved him because he treated her like a human being-but more than that- he treated her like a lady.  He knew it was his job, as a man, and as her boyfriend- turned- fiancé to take care of her.  He took it very seriously.  When they had gotten outside of the library, he had kicked at a pebble on the way back to the car and said, “You don’t know how hard it is to look at you without having a heart attack.”

               “You really think I’m THAT pretty?”

               “You’re a knockout… You haven’t noticed?” He opened the car door for her and went around to get in.  She sighed and said, “I guess I just always see the fat girl I used to be in the mirror… It doesn’t matter that I’ve lost a good 100 pounds since I was a freshman in high school… I still feel like a big fat cow… not all the time… Just sometimes…”

               “You’re not fat.” He said simply.  She loved how he was so matter-of-fact about the matter.  And she loved that he truly respected her and wanted to be the one she had waited for.  He wanted to be worthy of her trust.  But, most importantly, he wanted to be worthy of her love. She wanted (and quite frankly deserved)a prince charming to sweep her off her feet and carry her to a castle far away.  It wasn’t too much to ask. After all she’d been through- this was her reward. He made that clear in his songs.  He was very sweet to her. After she listened to the albums, she called him up, getting his voicemail because he was asleep. She knew he would be because he was exhausted from all the goings on that night. She really admired him and she knew that she was marrying someone who would make her very happy.  She also knew that she was going to make HIM very happy. She knew that there was something in the way he looked at her that was very special. When she called him, she thanked him for the great songs, and for being so in tune to her, and for loving her enough to write and compose all that music for her.  When he called back later that day, he said, “You’re welcome. I just thought you should know how I really feel about you.  I thought you should know how much you’ve changed my life… And I’m so grateful that you’re going to be my wife… It’s something I’m very much grateful for.”

They made a date for the following Saturday and they knew that the following week was going to be a crazy one.  Ali’s first novel was being released that week, and Evan had a big portfolio of drawings for a children’s book due.  They wanted to celebrate the big things happening in their lives. 

Evan Grayson was hard at work, sitting at his drafting table, doing sketches, and coloring and painting for his portfolio, and he was glad that he only had one more to go.  He had been working on this project non-stop for the past 2 days.  He knew the painting had to dry before he could scan it, so he cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders and neck to get the cricks out.  He was hungry, and found a Clif Bar to eat-knowing that his dinner with Ali was still hours away.  He was so proud of her.  She had been on Good Morning America that morning and he had been so happy that she was going to get back on time for the date- but moreover, he was proud because she had done a really good job, especially for her first TV interviews.  He felt blessed because one of the reporters had asked her if she had anyone special in her life, and she had replied, “Yes.  I’m engaged to a wonderful guy…Evan Grayson…  He actually designed the book cover before he had even met me, we started going out, and it wasn’t long before we knew we were in love…”

He felt so special knowing that she wasn’t keeping anything from anyone when it came to him. 

Evan now felt swamped.  His boss had given him a batch of 3 book covers to do, and he wasn’t even done with the last piece of art for the Spellman children’s novel.  He had a week to get the covers done, and he was having a hard time even getting started.  When he arrived at the restaurant, Ali noticed his fatigue right away.

               “Rough day?” She raised an eyebrow.

               “Yep. I’m exhausted.” He told her all about the new workload, and that he finally finished the last piece of the Spellman project, with barely a minute to spare… “I can’t seem to get started on the new stuff.” He said as he stabbed at a piece of lasagna on his plate. 

               “You’re overwhelmed, dear.  It happens to everyone. I am already under pressure to leave for that book-tour and to finish editing my latest novel… And knowing that I am also going to be planning a wedding is a bit overwhelming.”

He felt a touch of hurt at that, but before he could even say anything or show his emotion, she had already smiled and said, “I am looking forward to putting together the wedding, but I find the editing job overwhelming, and I can’t say I’m really jumping up and down about the book tour. I really don’t want to leave you… I’ve grown accustomed to having you around, and I’m not looking forward to being so far away from you.”

               “I love you for saying that.” He smiled.
               “Were you worried that I was the most frazzled about the wedding? I really didn’t mean to give that impression. I basically have the thing planned, I just need to iron out the details and hire the people.”

               “I was a little hurt, I’ll admit.” He laughed.

Over that next week, since Evan was still struggling to get the work done, Ali decided to help him out by coming over to his apartment and making him dinner. What she cooked was always a delightful surprise, and he was very impressed by her culinary skills despite the fact that she didn’t put much stock in them.  She also cleaned his apartment, which he had insisted she didn’t have to do, but she did it anyway.  Again, he was impressed.  And just having her near him made him glad they were engaged because he knew that soon, he would be able to be near her every day, and he wouldn’t have to kiss her goodnight at the door anymore.  On Friday, he was done with his last book cover.  As he helped her unload the dishwasher, he said, “Thank you for helping me this week, Ali.  You were a lifesaver.”

               “It was my pleasure.” She laughed, putting a cup away in the cupboard next to the fridge.  “I do have to confess that I had ulterior motives.  I wanted you to see how nice it is to have a woman in the house with you.  Also, I wanted to be near you, and to be nosy.”  And then she added, “Just kidding about the last part.”

               “Well, now I’m done, and you have accomplished that goal. I can’t wait to have you in the house with me. Not just because your cooking is off the hook, and you clean a room nicely, but because I just like having you around, and I hate having to send you home every night.  It just about breaks my heart. Plus, I’m convinced that proximity to you has made my work flow better.”

               “So, am I like your muse or something?” She smiled, looking up at him with a big smile on her face, putting away a coffee mug.

               “Yep. You’ve become my other half… And I know we’re going to be a good team.”

               “We are, and actually, you always WERE my other half, I just didn’t know it until I met you.”

               “I feel the same way.” He kissed her cheek, putting the last plate away. “It’s been so easy to do my craft when you’re around. I’m more intuitive, and I am more creative… I take more successful risks…”

               “And I write more… I’m not depressed… I smile all the time.  I have been keeping a healthy weight… And I feel like I have a reason to get up every morning.”

She shut the dishwasher and said, “I can’t wait to call you, or for you to call me back-just because I want to hear your voice.  I sometimes want to interrupt you so we can kiss… And when I’m with you, I feel like I’m home- like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I felt it- when we met- I just didn’t recognize it because love was foreign to me… But I recognize it like an old friend now.”

               “We’ve learned a lot about love from each other.” He folded her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.  He loved her, more than life itself…

               “Yes, we have.” She agreed. He twirled her around so he was behind her, and again, wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her stomach, kissing her neck gently.  “Do you know something?  I’ve never been so happy.”

               “Neither have I, and I must say I am greatly enjoying this… I feel the same way you do about the matter, the whole me being here during the week thing… I have come to the realization that I don’t want to procrastinate too much-the whole getting married thing… because honestly, it’s times like these when I wish we were already married.”

He was a little surprised by that comment and showed it.

               “Really?  I would have thought females were more immune to such things than males.”

               “We’re human too, babe… That’s all I’m gonna say about the matter.  And you don’t make it any easier by forgetting how early I get here in the morning and coming downstairs with your shirt off and your hair dripping wet. That’s kinda dangerous…” She laughed, flicking his arm playfully.

               “Well, I guess I’ll have to cancel the show tomorrow.” He sighed, sarcasm evident.

               “Smarty pants.” Was all she said.

 

 

               “Achoo!” Evan heard over the line.  And then a sniffle, and a moan, and a cough- all of which told him that Ali was sick with a cold.  “Don’t go to work today, sweetie.” Evan said, wishing he could be there with her right at this instant to hand her a box of tissues, some Dayquil, and a bag of Strawberry Halls… “I couldn’t even if I tried…” She managed.

               “Well, I guess it’s my turn then.” Evan chuckled.

               “What are you talking about?” She was a bit groggy. 

               “I’m going to take care of you.  You took care of me when I was stressed at work, and I want to repay the favor.”

               “That’s very nice.” She sneezed at the end.

               “I’ll see you in 20 minutes.” He said, and hung up the phone before she could say anything. 

Ali was actually a little embarrassed that the first time Evan was over at her apartment in the morning; that she was dressed in old lounge pants and a tattered Back to the Future T-shirt that had the Flux Capacitor on it.  Her mascara was smeared under her eyes, giving her a raccoon-ish look, and not to mention the fact that her eyes were red and bloodshot, and her nose was running.  She sneezed on him on accident, and apologized profusely.  Evan just laughed and said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I’ll sneeze on YOU one of these days.”  He was so sweet too.  He brought the tissues, Dayquil, and Strawberry Halls, along with a bottle of Ruby Red Grapefruit juice and a box of Green Tea.  He also brought her flowers and a can of chicken noodle soup.  He kissed her cheek and put her back into bed.  She was grateful for him.  And she could just imagine how he would be with their kids one day.  Over the next few days, Ali didn’t really get better.  She got worse, so Evan took off work to take her to the doctor.  There, they learned that she had bronchitis. They gave her some antibiotics and she laughed in the car, saying to Evan, “Well, I guess you saved my life.  I’m indebted to you.  I’ll be your Chewbacca.”  He was surprised at how serious she sounded.

               “So I’m Han Solo?”

               “Yes.”

When they got back to her apartment, Ali was very tired, and pretty hungry, so she said, “I don’t know what all there is to eat in this apartment…”

               “I went to the store.  Do you want some vegetable soup?  I just had a craving for some.”

               “That sounds nice.” She nodded.

               “Ok then, my dear, go upstairs and get comfortable.  Put on your favorite PJs and prop yourself up in bed with a good book.  I’ll fix the food and bring it up to you.”

               “You are a delightful man, Evan Grayson.” She blew a kiss at him not wanting him to catch what she had.

               “I try.” He laughed.

As she went upstairs, Ali felt an overwhelming feeling of love for her guy. He was taking care of her as if they were already married, and she knew that he would continue to do it.  He was wonderful.  He went to the grocery store for her, he cleaned her apartment.  He even went dropped off her bills, got her mail, fixed her food, did the dishes… He even made sure he went out and bought her favorite magazines so she would have something to do.  She was incredibly grateful for him.  Evan was someone that made her believe in true love and fairy tales. 

And she wasn’t worried about him coming upstairs because she knew that he was a gentleman, and wasn’t going to try anything.  She knew that he wouldn’t.  She knew he genuinely cared for her and liked to take care of her. 

She changed into a pair of comfy blue velour lounge pants, and a bright yellow shirt that said, “Be Happy” on the front with a smiley face.  It was a really soft ensemble, and she could almost go right to sleep.  Her ribs hurt from coughing, and she was a bit achy, so she took some pain medication, making sure it was something that wasn’t going to counteract her antibiotics or anything else she was taking.  She did what her beau told her and sat up in  bed with a copy of Jodi Picoult’s Salem Falls.  It didn’t take Evan long at all to bring the soup up.  He had brought her a little bowl of Oyster crackers (her favorite), and a glass of Ruby Red Grapefruit with a ham and cheese sandwich.  He put everything on a “breakfast in bed” tray over her lap, bringing a TV table from downstairs to eat on. “Thanks for everything, darling.  You’ve been a lifesaver.  I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

               “You would have been fine, but I just wanted to do everything in my power to get you well… And I wanted to be near you.”

               “I’m glad. It’s been really nice having you here… Not even just because my place is spotless and you’re a really good cook.”

               “I only made soup the whole week.” He raised his eyebrow. “And today I got it out of a can.”

               “Yes, but you made the ham that you put on the sandwich, and you made the bread.  This whole week you’ve made all kinds of soup. Homemade soup. And you made chili… And stew.  You’re quite good.”

He blushed.  “You’re embarrassing me.”

               “Bah humbug.” She took a bite of the sandwich after dipping it in her vegetable soup.

Evan just blushed again.  She laughed and patted his hand.  He was sweet. She knew that she had found a great guy.

Evan had never been upstairs at Ali’s apartment.  He knew it was something that was personal and serious.  He had been in her old bedroom at her parents’ house that one night, but he hadn’t actually been in her current room.  He liked how she had it set up.  She had her bed against the wall, black furniture, a black and white damask bedspread, Target organizational stuff… She had a book case against the wall, by the window, and there were tons of books on it.  She had about 30 Star Wars books, all the Harlan Coben novels, all the Left Behind books, all the Nicolas Sparks books.  She had a bunch of coffee table books, and reference books in the Closet Maid bookcase by her desk. She had stacks of novels by her bed to read, and magazines… A few People, a few Martha Stewart volumes, a Brides and The Knot. She had pictures of her friends and her family all over the walls.  She also had a cool picture from Target that said a whole bunch of stuff about how to live. He liked that the last part was “Sing in the rain”. 

He looked on the wall as he was eating and smiled when he saw pictures of him already on her wall.  His favorite was one that they had taken at the library right after he asked her to marry him. She had her arms around him and her left hand resting on his shoulder, proudly bearing the engagement ring her had given her. 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 16

Ali finally recovered from her illness, although it seemed like it took forever.  Evan had been a real blessing during her time of need.  Now, she was back to work, and expected to tour.  She was so nervous about it and really wasn’t thrilled with doing it.  The first place she went was to Cleveland and Columbus because they were important cities in her home state.  She then went to Boston, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Las Vegas, LA, and Orlando.  Now, she was in New York, and she was exhausted.  She had just flown in, and was thankful that she didn’t have anything to do that moment.  She just passed out on the bed, almost comatose from sleep deprivation.  She woke up right before dinner time, and, forgetting where she was, she started to text Evan to see if he wanted to meet her for dinner.  And then she cried when she realized that she was approximately 633.76 miles away from him right now.  Earlier today, she had been on the plane talking with her agent who was filling out an interview sheet for The Enquirer in Cincinnati about her.  He had asked her; “Does your fiancé like reading your work?”

               “Yes.” She answered. And even if she didn’t already know, she realized that she missed Evan and wished she was with him right now. 

               “Where are you right now?” Evan had asked her last night, feeling a pang of loneliness.

               “Boston, I WAS in Orlando, but then Boston wanted me again.  I was hoping to come back for a few days before I went to New York, but that’s shot now…”

               “When do you get in to New York?”

               “I should be at my hotel by 3pm.  Their time is the same as our’s”

               “Do you know what room you’ll be in?” He hoped she knew, so he could send her some stuff she mentioned wanting in her last email.

               “536. I’m staying at the Plaza.”

               “I love you, and I miss you.” He knew he shouldn’t have said it, but he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

She started to cry. “I miss you too…” She sniffled. “I want to be home.  I like to travel, but I wish you were with me.  I love you, and all I want is to come home and wedding plan, and work on the house, and write, and hang out with you…”

He wished her could dry her tears, but he couldn’t do that over the phone.  “I shouldn’t have said it…  I’m sorry.   You’re doing what you have to do.  This is your first novel.  You have to get the word out about yourself.  I understand that… I was just being selfish and moody because I miss you…But I shouldn’t make you feel bad for doing what you need to do for your career. I want you to succeed, sweetie.  I really do… I know you’re feeling like I’m feeling and you sound like you already feel guilty about it so I shouldn’t rub it in…”

               “I appreciate that… But you really didn’t have to apologize; I didn’t mean to burst into tears…I’m just exhausted, and moody-like you said, and I miss you, and home… And I wanted to share New York with you…”

              

A few hours later

He knew he shouldn’t have said it, and she knew she shouldn’t have agreed, or even suggested it in the first place, but, now, nothing could be done to stop it.  He had just gone through the doors of the world renowned Plaza Hotel, after flying the 600+ miles to New York City to see his fiancé.  It was crazy and stupid, as was paying for a room at the hotel to be near her- not  to mention the fact that he had a feeling that one of them was probably going to do something they regretted- not to mention that he KNEW that when he booked a flight… It was stupid and reckless-something that was hopelessly romantic and gooey… Something that Taylor Swift would probably write about in her songs.  Ali had brought it up, so it wasn’t HIS idea, but, it was what he wanted-for her to invite him to NYC and he wanted to share the experience with her, so when she brought it up, he jumped on it, not thinking about what could happen.  He had such an ache in his heart for her that his reasoning just flew out the window.  She was missing him as much as he was missing her.  He shook his head as he carried his stuff into the lobby, going to the check-in counter.  When he had his room key, he had picked a room right down the hall from Ali’s.  That probably wasn’t a good idea either.  He was making this very complicated for himself. He made a mental note: When you’re making it hard for yourself-shoot for harder.  He dumped his stuff in his room, and went over to Ali’s room, not knowing what would happen, but just having to see her. 

--

She had been waiting by the door, awaiting his arrival, pacing.  She opened the door and threw her arms around him. “I missed you so much!”  She exclaimed, kissing him like it had been a month and not 2 weeks. 

               “I missed you too.” He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and there was no longer a boulder forming in his heart.  Amazing what a hug and kiss can do.

And when they shut the door, he just held her for a long time, arms wrapped around her tiny waist, smelling her perfume, feeling the silk of her shirt against his arms. 

               “Tell me about home.” She said in a sweet voice that told him how homesick she was and how grateful she was that he was there.

               “Well, I confirmed the appointment for the reception hall-to book it… And I followed up with your minister about pre-marriage counseling.  My dad helped me put the new floors in at the house… Brad helped… as did Justin… Your dad helped me paint… Your mom came over and hung drapes… My mom bought those rugs the two of you picked out. She really loves you by the way.” He said, kissing her forehead. 

               “I love her too.  And I’m glad you’ve gotten so much done.”  She chuckled.  “Anything new at work?”

               “Nope. Same old same old.  I am just working on some cover art for C. Lanham’s Vampire book.”

               “He’s writing ANOTHER vampire book?” She raised an eyebrow.

               “I guess he figured 6 wasn’t enough.”

               “2 was enough.”

               “Amen.”

               “Did the photographer call?”

               “Yes.  I told her that we wanted the second package… That’s what you said, right?”

               “Yes.  Thanks SO much!  I felt bad that I couldn’t text her back when she got back with me… I was getting on the plane…”

               “She thought that’s what happened, so she called me.  Anything new with you?”

               “just you-here… And New York… That’s pretty cool.”

               “Alright.  Your agent hasn’t hit on you?” He was joking, pretending to be jealous- but knowing that the guy was gay.  She laughed, “I’m not his type.  I’m a girl.  But even if he were to change his mind, I won’t change mine… I’m too fond of you.”

               “That’s nice.” He chuckled.

               “Are you ok with getting married at my church.. I mean, I never really asked you… I just did it.”

               “I’ve always been ok with that.  I never expected to get married at my church.  I always thought it would be at my bride’s church.”

She looked slightly surprised when she looked at him.  “Really?”

               “Yeah.  I never really thought that I would get married at my church… And honestly, I never really thought about it much… It always was something that the bride did, I was taught… It doesn’t bother me at all.”

               “Really?” She said, exhaling gently. 

               “Yes.  Baby, all I want is for you to be happy-whatever that means.  I want what you want.  I know you want your daddy to walk you down the aisle of your church.  I know your minister has wanted to marry you off since you were young.  Everyone loves you there.  Actually, I’ve only been going to my current church for about six years.  We used to go to one on the other side of town…”

               “This means a lot to me.” She laid her head on his chest, smelling the faint scent of Old Spice, and finding it intoxicating. “I want you to know that.”

               “I know that.” He smiled at her, and gave her a kiss that told her everything she needed to know.

               “So” she said, nose to nose with him.  “If I’m the only girl you’ve ever kissed, how are you so proficient at it?”

               “I don’t know.  Right girl I guess.” He shrugged.

               “Hmm.” She said, observing how cute he looked in his faded blue jeans and his green button-down shirt, unbuttoned at the top.  He was so darn attractive.  She knew that him coming here was a little dangerous, and standing here with him, being held in his strong arms when she was vulnerable was reckless.  When they sat on her bed and talked, she knew how easy it would be to slip up.  She knew that it was a test of every fiber of her being and she couldn’t imagine how Evan was feeling.  He was being an absolute gentleman, but she knew that there must be a little bit of longing to be a bad boy… She knew she was feeling a little bit of rebellion in her bones.  But, in spite of these feelings, or maybe even because of them, her and Evan had a wonderful conversation where they talked about things that they hadn’t thought to talk about before.  They made up their minds that they weren’t going to get mad at anything the other said.  They were just going to say what they needed to say. 

               “I want two kids.” He said, bluntly. “I always dreamed of a swing set with two swings, and 2 kids swinging…”

               “That’s what I always saw too.” She said. 

               “I don’t like wedding bands… unless they’re just playing jazz or something at the ceremony or while people are eating at the reception… I like DJ’s for the reception and the dancing.”

               “Preach it.  See, we’re already compatible.”

               “I don’t really care about flowers… I mean, they’re pretty and all, and they smell kinda nice, but, I could really care less.  You?”

               “Amen again.  I like roses, and lilacs, and Stargazer Lilies. That’s all the kinds of flowers I’m using in the wedding arrangements.  Is that alright?”

               “Perfect.”

               “I wanted a photo booth, so I looked into it.”

               “Ooh! That sounds like fun! Go for it!”

               “Yay.  I just always thought that sounded like fun… I don’t want to have a boring reception.”

               “God forbid!  We won’t… And I don’t want boring food.”

               “Neither do I, or unrecognizable food. I also want to do signature cocktails.  I’ve been Pinteresting and looking recipes up in my bridal magazines-came up with a few ideas.  When I get back, we’ll have to try out our bartending skills and see how they taste. Then we can choose the right one.”

               “That sounds like a good time.  You’re not trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me, are you?”

He joked, making her crack up.  “This isn’t Grey’s Anatomy, Evan.  And it’s a little weird that you knew that line.”

               “It used to be my mom’s favorite show…”

               “Well, that’s something we have in common.”

They talked about desserts for the wedding.  He told her that he picked out a Groom’s Cake.  She laughed in disbelief when he showed it to her on his phone.  “Shut up!  Seriously?!”

He looked at her, alarmed, not expecting that reaction.  “What?  Do you hate it?”

She put a hand lightly on his thigh.  “No! I love it! This is why I reacted that way.”  She pulled out a little notebook that had wedding stuff in it, and flipped to the page she wanted and then showed it to him.  It was a picture of the same cake.  “No way! You picked the same cake?”

               “I thought it was amusing, and even before I met you, I thought that any guy I would marry would probably like it.”

               “That’s awesome.”

The cake he had picked out was a cake in the shape of an AT-AT Walker from Star Wars.  She had seen it in an old issue of The Knot Ohio and just fell in love with it’s whimsy.  She knew that any guy she would say ‘yes’ to would like Star Wars.  Period.  They talked some more.  She asked, “How soon do you picture us having kids?”

               “Like a year?  I’m not picky though.  Whenever it happens, it happens.  I just don’t want to be an old fart when I have kids.”

She laughed at his bluntness.  “I don’t exactly want to be a wrinkled old lady either… I think a year is a good matter of time.” And then she got a dark expression on her face as if she just remembered something and she was afraid that what she had remembered would hurt him, or that he wouldn’t like it… She had forgotten something, but now, she remembered, and the memory hurt, quite obviously.

               “What is it?” He asked.  “I promise, nothing you could ever say will change my mind about you.”

She took a breath and looked down, “I just-always forget about the surgery… I mean, I SHOULD be able to still have kids, but there’s a chance that because I lost a tube, and an ovary that it may not happen, so I don’t want you to get your hopes up-or be mad if it doesn’t happen… I love you, and I didn’t want to keep it from you… I know you already know about the surgery, but even I-the one who had it-forgets sometimes the implications…”

He had to admit that he had forgotten that part of the puzzle.  As much as he wanted kids, if it didn’t happen, or if they only had one, he would be alright.  He didn’t want her to think that he didn’t love her enough to stay with her-knowing that.  So, he pulled her closer and said, “Sweetie, that’s alright.  I’ll love you either way.  If we have kids, great; if we don’t, that’s fine too… I’m marrying you because I love you, not to have an heir.  And you never know, with all my medical stuff, I may not be able to have kids… No one ever said that, but why would they tell a 9 year old that?”

               “You’re right… and thank you … You’re such a sweetheart. I am glad I got that off my chest.  And I will love you either way.”

 

Evan was now back into his room, changing for bed, thinking about all the things he and Ali had talked about.  He had only been done for a few minutes when there was a knock at his door.  He took a deep breath because he knew who it was.  He was almost afraid to open the door and let her in because he had just been thinking of how amazing this young lady was that he was about to marry.  He knew she was amazing.  And she had amazing family-amazing friends.  She had an amazing voice.  Whether she was belting out Taylor Swift songs in the car, or singing a Hanson song cleaning her apartment, or singing along to church songs when they went to service together… She was an amazing vocalist.  Her voice was an enigma- soft and pretty, but always able to be heard.  She had a good range. And he loved that she sang with such conviction.  She sang believing the words she sang.  He remembered the first time he took her to church with him… it was the week after they met.  They had just begun dating and he just thought it would be something cool together. He had introduced her to his church friends, who had all texted or Facebooked him later telling him how pretty “the little red-haired girl” he brought to church was.  They were all very happy for him, and invited her to their annual carnival given by the church.  She had accepted and hung on his arm like there was nowhere in the world she’d rather be.  He loved sitting by her side when they rode rides.  He won her a few trinkets, which he noticed when she was sick and he was taking care of her.  They were on her bookshelf and on her desk.  He bought her a silly rubber duck and a plastic sword, and won her a Slinky.  He had chuckled and pointed everything out to her that day.  She laughed and said that she wouldn’t part with them for the world because they came from him.  And now, she was at his door, and he let her in, knowing that she was the only one that could be there.   “I couldn’t sleep.” She said.

               “I didn’t even try.”
He embraced her, and she kissed him tenderly.  They went inside, and he caught his breath noticing that she had changed into a night gown, and had a robe on over it.  She was making it really hard to be good.  But, he made up his mind that he was going to control himself, and when he put his mind to something, he usually accomplished it.  This was going to be the same, although he knew that passing the third grade, even with all the time in the hospital- was a lot easier than putting into his mind that he wasn’t going to slip up with Ali- who was ravishingly gorgeous.  He was surprised that she actually stayed there that night, but, he had talked her ear off about being angry that Downton Abbey killed off Sybil and Matthew in season 3. “I love that you like Downton.  I never knew a dude who liked it.” She had said.  “And yes, I cried for like a week.”

               “Those mean British people and their cruel murders… I threw a pillow across the room and teared up-definitely.”

               “At least you didn’t throw your phone.” She said. 

               “This is true.”

               “It’s so sad.  Those British people are heartless.”

He was enjoying this exchange.  “Two dead favorites within like 3 episodes of each other. And both new parents… And Matthew and Mary, the beloved couple!”

               “Who finally got together and had that elusive offspring… and yet Thomas lives…”

               “THOMASSS! Oh, that a cruel world we live in!” He put a hand to his head, dramatically.

               “And Tom and Matthew were bros!”

               “Waaaaah I’m just so upset by this.  You need to tell me, ‘Evan, get over it.  It’s just a stupid TV show that you shouldn’t even like because you’re totally straight and hate watching chick flicks, so why are you watching Downton Abbey?!’.”

               “I would never say that to you…”

               “So it’s ok?”

               “Yes. I need a Downton buddy.”

               “Proud to do it.”

She chuckled, kissing him.  “I was upset too.  I still am.”

               “Ugh! At least we can go into season 4 together… even though we may not want to after this terrible betrayal by the British.”

               “No wonder we founded our own country.”

               “Right you are on that one.”
               “Even in 1776, our forefathers knew that those dang Brits were going to murder Sybil and Mary’s darling Matthew…”

               “They were plotting the whole time!!! Filthy scoundrels!”

               “THAT was the long line of usurpations and grievances Jefferson talked about.”

               “Oy vey!”

               “When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve ties with people who kill off characters you like in TV shows and movies- it’s cruel! And if you’re THAT cruel, then we just don’t want to be a part of your country any more! And as Taylor Swift says, ‘All you are is MEAN and a LIAR, and PATHETIC, and ALONE IN LIFE. And MEAN and MEAN and MEAN and MEAN!’ we are all created equal and are endowed by our Creator by a certain Unalienable right to see our characters live and actually be happy for a change!”

At that, Evan cracked up laughing, side splitting.  “Thomas Jefferson just rolled over in his grave.”

               “Sorry Tom.”  She looked up.  “Love your Declaration.  It was WAY more eloquent than mine.”

He had certainly found a treasure in her.

Ali Hartley knew that she shouldn’t do it. She knew that of all things, this was reckless; irresponsible, and possibly to her own detriment, but she just couldn’t make herself leave the room, so she stayed, and let herself fall asleep on Evan’s shoulder.  She woke up the next morning in the bed next to his and looked over at him.  He was still asleep, bless his heart, and sunlight bathed his handsome form.  Her breath caught because he wasn’t wearing a shirt.  He probably got hot in the middle of the night and forgot she was there.  His back was to her, and she could see a scar on his shoulder blade from where he had fallen off a ladder when he was a kid, falling on his back onto something sharp and hard, he didn’t remember what, he said.  And to her, it made him look dashing.  Funny thing about scars… the people who have them wish they didn’t, and some people bash you for your scars and say that they’re ugly… but to the people who care about you; those scars mean a lot.  They make you look strong and brave because scars mean that you’ve been wounded, but you survived.  You lived to tell the tale. Scars are your testament to what you’ve been through in life.  She had a few scars of her own.  Some were on her heart, and some were physical.  She had also had to live with fear of losing someone she loved because of those scars and everything that came with them.  She loved how understanding he was when she told him that she might not be able to have kids.  They had talked about their hopes and dreams, and they had discussed their two hypothetical children, and the things they would teach them, and they forgot to remember that it may not happen… Even if there was nothing really wrong with either of them, they might never have a child… that’s just the way life goes sometimes. 

She decided that she was going to order breakfast, so, she went over to her room, and called for room service, since it was covered in the company’s budget for her travels. She had it sent to her room, and while she was waiting, she changed for the day ahead after a quick shower, and then, went back over once the food was delivered.  She had written her man a note letting him know what she was doing, and so, when she came over with the food, he grinned. “You’re so sweet… I’m starving.”

               “I hope you like it.”

               “I’m sure I will.”

She sat down with him at the table by the window and started to eat.  “So, I called my agent and he said that you’re more than welcome to, as he put it, not me- ‘tag along’ with us when I go to my interviews and press releases… In between, we can do a little sight-seeing.”

               “That sounds great.  I appreciate you for asking, and I appreciate Steffan for letting me ‘tag along’.”

               “I told him he better not hit on you.”

               “I appreciate that.”

He chuckled, stabbing a piece of sausage on his plate. 

Evan loved watching Ali do her thing.  She dressed poised and sophisticated, but yet, youthful.  She didn’t look stuffy, and she didn’t try to be something she wasn’t. She also proudly hung on his arm, and told everyone how much she loved him.  He sat behind the scenes when she was on Leno and he smiled when she described why she wrote.  She told the audience, as well as the host, that, “Even though what I write is fiction, it’s sort of biographical.  It’s like a diary in a way.  They always tell people in therapy or counseling to journal.  And there’s a reason for that.  Oftentimes, because we’re afraid to actually say what we think, we repress our feelings- but journaling and writing everything out puts it in black and white.  You actually HAVE to write the words you’re thinking, and you organize your thoughts to put them in one place… You heal yourself from the inside out… Even if what you write is just something you’re feeling, and it isn’t even true-that’s what you’re feeling.  It’s true to you in that moment.  And a lot of times, we feel like nobody cares about our problems, or that you could talk to someone for days on end without ever resolving the problem, but when you write it down, it’s like taking notes…”

               “So, tell our viewers how old you are.” Jay asked, looking at her.  It was an odd question, but she knew why he was asking it, as did Evan.

               “I’m 22.”

               “You’re pretty smart for someone so young.”

               “I’ve been through a lot. Strength and wisdom often go hand in hand.”

               “Yes.  You’re right.” And then he said, “So, from this novel, and the one hitting the stands in a few months, is there a major difference?”

               “Not particularly… It’s kind of a story within a story-which is different than the one that’s out now.  But, the next one- that I just sent in for publication-that one is different- more because of the blessings I’ve received-the additional healing, and the growth of my self-esteem, confidence- and love in my life.  Actually, I had only written like 30 pages of the book, and it was all kind of random-not really put together very well, piece-y… choppy, and then, I met my fiancé.  I know its cliché, but, everything fell into place.  And life imitated art.  I’m not sure if it was because Evan read my first book and just decided to propose the way he proposed-or if he just did it without thinking- but, he proposed in a library, and my character, Caitlen got engaged in a library… Anyway-it was very romantic and sweet.”

               “So, on that subject, are you able to wedding plan on a book tour?”

               “It’s hard, but yes.  I have a Kindle, and a laptop, and I carry my cell with me… I buy bridal magazines, and keep in touch with my contacts for the wedding… Evan is a big help too.  He’s been getting back with everyone for me, and sometimes, we both Skype with the various vendors if it’s something we both have to agree on…”

--

Ali had been so nervous before Leno, but Evan calmed her down and told her she would be great.  After the taping, she took him to an Italian Bistro that had been recommended by a colleague at work.  “The food is delicious.” Evan said after finishing everything on his plate. 

               “I shouldn’t have eaten so much, but I just couldn’t stop myself.  It’s not so bad though… When I was sick, I probably lost ten pounds despite all the great food you made me.”

               “I do what I can.” He joked, sipping his wine.

 Then, her phone buzzed in her purse.  She didn’t want to answer it because she thought it was rude to talk on the phone when you’re on a date unless it’s absolutely urgent.  She looked at her phone and saw “4 Missed Calls” She clicked on the icon with her finger and saw they were all from the company making her wedding dress.  And she felt her phone vibrate when it lit up to tell her that they were calling again.  “I think something’s up with my dress. They keep calling me.”

               “Go ahead and take it.  It’s probably important.”

She nodded and answered.  When she got off the phone, she looked crestfallen.  “What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes very concerned about whatever was troubling her.

               “There was a fire at the shop, and my dress is gone. They’re putting the money back on the card, and they said that they feel terrible about it… They’re even giving me a little more than I paid because they know I’m away on business, and the wedding’s so soon… I am sad- but I feel like they were overly generous… THEY lost their store…”

Evan actually smiled a tad.  He, of course, wasn’t happy that Ali’s dress burned up, and the people lost their shop… He DID think they were VERY generous… But, he smiled because of the way Ali had handled it. She was so graceful and adult about it… and she showed compassion for the shop-owner, and she wasn’t being a typical self-absorbed bridezilla that he had heard so much about. She was being a good, kind, Christian woman about everything. 

               “You’re great.” He said, simply.  “I think that one passage in the Bible- Proverbs 31 describes you perfectly.”

She blushed.  “Really?”

               “Worth far more than rubies you are.”

               “Well, that’s- wow…”

               “You are that woman, Ali.”

               “I know it talks about the woman, but, you’re that man.”

Evan loved talking with Ali.  He loved eating with her, walking with her… He loved all the simple things they did together that made everything real.  Evan loved the way she moved, the way she talked-how she dressed… He loved that she was real.  She said what she needed to say.  There was no bull with her.  He loved that last night, she had sat on his bed and said, “I have never missed anyone so much.” It was real and palpable. 

She had told him that she had to come over because she didn’t like that she had to send him back to his room.

               “You didn’t send me back.  I left.” He had said.

               “Never the less, I hated that you couldn’t just stay here, but I knew that you were trying to be good.  So, since I’ve always been called a rebel, I decided to be the bad girl.”

               “You’re not a bad girl.” He had said.  “You’re my angel.”

               “And you’re mine.” She kissed him gently.  “I really wish that it was easier to wedding plan on this book tour…”

               “I’ll help you. I’ll send you anything you need.  I’ll go to the caterer for you.  I’ll fax stuff.  I’ll print announcements or programs.  I’ll buy favors-whatever… Or if what you want is to just meet up every so often, I can do that…”

He really didn’t know very much about wedding planning, but he just wanted Ali to rest at ease about everything. 

               “What I really want” she smiled, “is you.  And I love that you’re so kind, and willing to help me with everything.  I won’t make it too hard on you.  How about this- we should get a wedding coordinator.  I have my Look Book with me… I’m on Pinterest… he or she can help iron out the details… And you can work on something very special for me… I gave my favorite cake designs to the baker, and he drew something to show me what it would look like, but it’s a crude model… Even he said so…Would you be able to do an artistic rendering of it for my book?”

               “I’d love to. Oh, I had this idea- for the photo booth, we could do it ourselves.  I can paint a backdrop, and we can get some old furniture and props out of my grandparents’ attic, and we could go to an antique place or whatever and get some funky stuff… I have this weird Aunt Addie that is a photographer and always wants something to do at weddings… That’s the only way she’d come… She could take the pictures as a wedding gift.  And trust me, that’s a WAY better gift than the bizarre sculptures that she creates.  They could make your eyes burn and your stomach flip over.”

               “That bad, huh?” She had said.

               “I’m afraid so.”

               “It’s a shame… Anyway, that sounds like a great idea.  I’d love that.”

               “Cool.  Once I get back, I’ll get right on that.”

               “You’re amazing.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 17

Ali fell asleep that night in Evan’s arms.  He had been singing to her as she looked at the pictures of the wedding dress that she was no longer going to have.  She didn’t cry.  She just sighed and set them aside. 

In the morning, Evan said to her, “I had an idea about your dress.  I know someone from middle school… they grew up to be a dress designer here in New York… You know what you like… I know she’s been itching for customers since most ‘snobby brides’ choose big name designers… She has been sending me stuff since she found out we were dating.  I know she’d design one heck of a dress.  In middle school, she made half her clothes, her Halloween costumes, and everything… Everyone thought they were something imported from Paris or London or Milan or something…  She would give me a great price, and she’d just adore you… And her shop is located less than a block from the Times where you have your 1:00.”

Her eyes got big as saucers.  “Seriously?!”

               “Yes.”

               “Evan, are you trying to be irresistible? Because if so, you’re doing a darn fine job of it.”

               “You caught me.  That was my goal.”

               “Well then, I will just have to accept that invitation with wide open arms. Can you call and get my an appointment?  You know her.”

               “I’ll do that right now.” He said with a big huge grin.

By 2:15 that afternoon, Ali was sitting with Cassie St. Claire in her office, looking over the dresses that Ali liked.

               “These are gorgeous.  You have fabulous style, Ali.  We’re going to create something beautiful.”

And with a smile, Cassie told her to go look through some of the sample dresses for a few minutes.  And by the time Ali was done, Cassie held up a piece of paper that had a sketch of a wedding dress that was even better than the one she had before.  Her breath caught.  “It’s perfect… Stunning!”

               “So you like it?” Cassie looked a bit unsure.

               “I love it.” She got tears in her eyes.  “That’s MY dress.”

               “Yes it is. I designed it piece by piece in my head, going off of that wonderful book of your’s.  I also liked that you showed me that Costume folder of your’s on Facebook… It helped my creative juices flow.”

               “Wow.”

               “Yes.  See here- the top of this dress has the beading of dress 1 in your book.  It has the capped sleeves of the Belle dress you picked out… The Cinderella Skirt, and the hot pink sash like dress 4 here… And that Casablanca Bridal one where you liked the beading on the skirt, I put that in there… And this is my ode to Grace Kelly in The Rear Window.” She had done pearl beading coming down from the waist of the A-Line Ball Gown that looked a little like vines, which was white on white, whereas the costume was black on white… But, it was perfect.  And on those capped Belle sleeves, Ali noticed that Cassie had done silver strands making them stand out. “This is from my favorite Padmè nightgown from Episode 3.”

               “Yep.  And your wedding is in the winter, so I didn’t want you to freeze to death so I designed this…” She got another sheet of paper and showed her a lace jacket whose sleeves reminded Ali of Padmè’s wedding gown from Episode 2. 

               “And, I know you came in here for YOUR dress, but, I thought these up for your maids.”

Another sheet of paper.  “I dare you to guess the actress and movie this came from.”
               “Grace Kelly, Dial ‘M’ For Murder! It’s the ‘red dress’.”

               “Exactly.  And I made them pink, but you said something about making them slightly different.”

               “Yeah, um… My sister can do strapless probably the best of all my girlfriends… Nikki is quirky and I think she’d like something asymmetrical. Maddy would be the closest to the original design.  She’s getting married in 2 months.”

By the time they were done, Ali had figured out her dress as well as a dress for each one of her girls.  Alyssa had a fairly simple frock because she wasn’t a big showy, flashy person- but it was very much like a strapless version of the black lace dress/overlay that Lucille Ball wore a lot in seasons 4 and 5 of I Love Lucy.  Nikki’s dress, Ali thought was like Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland-but for weddings.  It was a take on the dress that the Mad Hatter made for Alice when she got really tiny and he hid her in the tea pot.  And Maddy had a more classic version of the original drawing.  When the girls got the sketches via email, they texted her with happy/stunned replies. 

               “Shut up! This is the funkiest, coolest bridesmaid dress in the world!” Nikki said. She was an Alice in Wonderland freak so much so that the group of friends had a Mad Hatter Birthday Tea for her.

               “This is gorgeous!” Maddy said.

               “I can hear the I Love Lucy theme ringing in my head.” Was what Alyssa exclaimed on Skype that night.

               “I’m glad you like it so much, sweetie.” Ali smiled, glad that her sister appreciated all the hard work Cassie had put in.

               “So, um, I probably shouldn’t ask this because I know you didn’t, but mom asked me to ask you if anything improper is going on between you and the Beautiful Irish Man.”

               “No. You can tell her that the Beautiful Irish Man is a gentleman, and this Wee Lass is trying to be on her best behavior.”

               “Ok. Just checking.  Evan really flew all the way to New York to see you… Got a room at the Plaza, and hasn’t tried anything with you.”

               “As Mickey and Sylvia sang, ‘Love is Strange’.” *********

Evan returned home when Ali went from New York to someplace in New Jersey.  He had to get back to work, even though he didn’t relish the thought of being away from her.  At work, Evan made sure he did everything he could to the best of his ability.  Ali came back a week later, and she had with her a list of New York Times Bestsellers List with her name at the top.  He beamed and she jumped into his arms, grinning like no other.  “I did it! I really did it!”

               “You sure did, princess.” He said into her softly scented red hair. 

               “I’m so excited! I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited- except when we got engaged… That will always be at the top… Oh, Evan, thank you for being such a great supporter and for all your encouragement… You’ve just- been wonderful, and I know this has all been hard on you- with the book tour, being away from each other… But you have just been magnificent.  And I adore you.  You made all those dreams I wrote about in my novel real.  I was just writing my hopes, and then, I met you and you made all those dreams come true.  You did exactly what you promised the day we met, and I’m just in awe of everything you have taught me about love… And I know that our story doesn’t end with happily ever after. I know that things aren’t always going to be all roses and sunshine, but I also know that neither one of us is going to give up.  We are going to stand by each other in good times and bad.  Even when one or both of us wants to leave, we’re going to be able to count to ten and get over it because I know we can’t live without each other’s love.  I know that each of us respects the other enough to stick it out no matter what.  I know it’s true.  We will be happy.  We have to be.  I have faith that we will.”

Evan’s mouth was dry from emotion.  Ali had said everything he was thinking.  “I will always be here for you.” He said.  “I will always love you, and my heart will always belong to you.  I’m looking forward to being your husband, you being my wife… the house we’ll share…the memories… and hopefully, the children… I look forward to growing old with you- sitting on the front porch drinking lemonade in the summertime, eating snickerdoodles and eating dinner at 4:00 or whatever it is you do when you’re an old married couple.”

She laughed. “And we’ll go to bed at 9:00 and wake up at 7:00.”

               “I don’t know about waking up that early.”

               “I was hoping you would say that. You know I’m not a morning person any more than you are.”

               “I HATE mornings. I HATE them.  I can’t really think of many things I hate more than mornings.”

               “Amen. I knew I said ‘yes’ for a reason.”

               “I know this is terrible, and I shouldn’t say this to you, but, I’m looking forward to not having to control myself with you.  I gotta tell you, it is REALLY hard to be this in love with you, to see you and hear you, and kiss you, desire you, but not be able to show you how much I really love you.”

She blushed, but she laid a gentle kiss on his neck, “I know.  Just think, it’s only another four months.  I know that seems like an eternity, but trust me, it’s not.  Four months is about how long it takes for me to grow my hair out, or write one hundred pages in a novel, and edit it.  In the three-almost-four months we’ve been dating, I finished a novel and sent it in for edits, had a book published and printed, met the love of my life, got engaged after two months, started to plan a wedding, survived bronchitis and went on a book tour, making the Times list!  You designed a killer book cover for a starving artist, so to speak… You met the love of your life. You asked her to marry you.  You did an entire portfolio of illustrations for a children’s novel.  You designed five book covers.  You re-designed an abandoned library to make it a house.  You did three gorgeous paintings.  You had three hair cuts.  And you wrote, composed, played, sang, and recorded a CD for your girlfriend… And you took a trip to New York. That isn’t a lot of time, but, what matters is what you accomplish.  Baby, you’ve already made it for three months.  And I haven’t been making it easy- except for when I had bronchitis and I sneezed on you…”

               “You’re right, except for the last part.  I didn’t mind being sneezed on by you.”

               “You’re weird.”

               “You’re right.”

               “And just to remind you, I feel the same things you do.  I’m only human.  That night in NYC when I was a rebel and stayed in your room at the hotel- I wanted to climb in beside you… I’m not gonna lie.  It’s probably good that I fell asleep, and you put me in the other bed… I’ve never felt that way before you.  I’ve never behaved so recklessly in my life, but, even knowing that, I still walked over there… I still wanted you.  I still wanted to reward you for being so good to me…I don’t know… I don’t know if I would have actually gone through with it or not… which kinda scares me honestly… And I knew you were trying SO HARD!  But I knew I could hardly blame you if you couldn’t resist anymore.”

And he had to catch his breath.  He didn’t know all this.  But, he understood every word of it.  And he said a silent prayer, getting back a reply- you will never be tempted beyond what you can bear.

               “We were able to control ourselves.  You wouldn’t have done anything, and neither would I… I remember that night, being so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to control myself, but something kept saying, just a little longer. And my mind was racing, saying, HOW MUCH longer? And then, just a bit longer. It sounds maddeningly unhelpful… but it actually helped. We’re just finite beings.  Our time is short.  We are impatient. But really, you’re right.  In the grand scheme of things, four months is not long at all.  A year isn’t really a long time. I haven’t known you a long time, actually.  But, the main reason I know you’re the one is that, the moment I met you, I felt like I had known you my whole life.  But more than that- it was like I knew you before that…like we met one hundred years ago on the Titanic or back in the days of Shakespeare or something… It was like everything clicked when you walked out of that door.  But even a little before that- when I designed the cover to your novel, and when I read it, I now remember thinking to myself; this girl is special about its author.  And something told me to actually READ your novel… Why would that happen if we weren’t meant to be?”

               “It wouldn’t.” She replied, head on his chest.  “We met for a reason.  We were meant for each other.  You were sent to me to tell me that fairytales exist, and there are knights in shining armor out there.  You were sent to me because I believed that no matter what or when- that God knew what I wanted and needed.  He knew that I wanted to be married.  He knew that I had been through a lot.  He knew that I needed someone to protect me, even though I didn’t want to need that… I’ve always been the tough girl with a tender heart.  And just when I finally penned all my hopes, fears, and dreams; He blessed me with you as if to say, you waited. I was listening. I heard your prayers, but I was waiting for you to know exactly what you wanted, for you to be in a place where you could receive love without strings attached. I wanted you to have the real thing, not an imitation.  And this Prince Charming of yours- well, HE was sent to YOU because I wanted HIM to have the best of my flock.  And he was sent to you THEN because I wanted each of you to have the best version of each other, and then, to grow together- all-the-while updating and becoming even BETTER versions of yourselves. That’s what’s in store for you. And Evan, well, I love him as I loved David because he is a man after My own heart. Both of you are vessels into which I will pour out My love and blessings.  Life may not always be easy.  The journey will be rough, but now, neither of you have to go alone.”

*---*

Evan thought about everything Ali had said.  She was right.  And he found himself so in awe of what she had said.  Ali was an amazing woman, and Evan knew that everything she just said wasn’t really coming from herself, it was coming straight from God.  She obviously knew Him well, and He knew her.  And Evan actually teared up at the part about him being like David.  That was something that most men (of faith anyway) strived towards but never thought they’d really ever get to.  But, apparently, he was.  That stopped him dead in his tracks, to be perfectly honest.  And all he could do at that moment was twirl his lady love around, and smile because he was incredibly happy and incredibly blessed.

This was maybe a little awkward, but it was needed.  Evan DID have friends, just none that he really wanted in his wedding party.  Of course, his brothers were going to be in it, but, Evan was trying to figure out who else was going to be in front with him.  He had decided to ask Ali’s friend (almost a brother really), Brian Haines.  They had hung out a few times and really hit it off.  They had added each other on Facebook, and both had invited each other to a few things like parties and grill-outs, and double dates (well, that was something Ali set up all by herself). Ali wanted everyone to be friends, and now he had been welcomed into their posse, but, ultimately, he was the closest to Brian out of the guys, mostly just because of proximity.  But, Brian Haines was one of those people who just knew everyone.  Everyone liked him.  And everywhere the group of friends went, Brian always knew someone.  Always.  Without Fail.  It was actually fairly bizarre.  He had over one thousand friends on Facebook. Seriously-no lies. 

Another reason why Evan felt like he could go to Brian with this request was that Brian had actually instant messaged him that Ali was one of the coolest people Evan would ever meet. “Yeah, I know.” Evan had said.

               “You better.  You DO know that if you ever hurt her, you’re dead, right?”

               “Yeah, I know.  I promise I won’t hurt her. I won’t break her heart, and I will never use her, cheat on her, or abandon her.  I know what a blessing she is.  I can’t screw this up.”

               “Ok. Just so we’re clear. We all really love her.  And she really loves you. In all actuality, however, I’m only saying all of this out of obligation.  I’m one of her oldest and dearest friends.  Like a brother, honestly.  I have to make sure whoever is going to date my sister is worthy, and won’t hurt her.”

               “I have no problems with that.”

So, from that moment on, Brian and Evan had a friendship that grew every time they talked.  And that brings us to now. 

--

Brian Haines had been a tad bit surprised when Evan texted him and asked if he wanted to grab some wings or a burger or something. “Uh, sure.  When?”

               “Tomorrow?”

               “Yeah, that’s fine.  Wild Mike’s in Delhi?”

               “You got it. 6:00?”

               “You got it.  See ya later, dude.”

And now, Brian was walking into the sports bar wondering why Evan wanted to meet him there. Sure, they were friends, but, it was all of a sudden.  When Brian walked in, Evan was already there, in a booth, pondering the menu, but obviously waiting for his friend.  Evan looked up and saw him, giving him the nod.  Oh, the nod; the universal show of greeting for males, especially males forty and under.  Brian gave him the necessary nod back, walking to the table.  They gave each other a handshake, and Brian sat down.  “Have you decided yet?” Brian asked.

               “The Sixteen Piece Boneless Wings, Original Buffalo, Extra Hot with Ranch, and fries… and a Dr.Pepper. I’m not very original… it’s pretty much what I get every time I go here.”

Brian couldn’t help but chuckle at that.  “It’s like when you go to Skyline and you ALWAYS get a 3-Way.”

               “Or LaRosa’s and always get pizza.”

               “Or Montgomery Inn and always get ribs.”

               “Graeter’s and always get ice cream?  No… that’s ok… must get ice cream at Graeter’s.”

               “Do you realize that everything we just named was only Cincinnati food?”

               “The thought DID cross my mind.”

Brian looked down at the menu, already knowing that he was going to get The Sixteen Piece Regular Wings – Kansas City BBQ, Medium with Ranch, and an order of cheese sticks and a Mountain Dew.  So, that’s what he ordered when the waitress came around.

               “Do you think we’ll actually eat all this food?”

               “Doubt it… But, we can take some of the wings home.”

               “True.”

It was silent a second and then, Brian asked, “So, what made you invite me here tonight, man?”

               “Well, I wanted to ask if you could do me a favor.”

               “Sure.” Brian knew it must be something serious. He just didn’t know what it could be.

               “Would you be a groomsman in my wedding?  It would mean a lot to me, and I know it would mean a lot to Ali.”

               “I’d be happy to.” Brian said almost-automatically.

               “Good… Wow, that was easier than I thought.”

               “Were you afraid I’d say no?”

               “A little bit.”

               “Well, I didn’t.”

               “I appreciate that.”

They both laughed and had a great time.  And then, Brian, for some reason, he couldn’t tell why; thought of something that had been weighing on his mind lately. “May I ask for some advice? You’re engaged, maybe you know women better than I do.”

Evan laughed, taking a swig of Dr. Pepper. “Let me tell you something, I don’t really know anything more about women than you do… I just happened to meet The One on my first try… But that was just God, not me… Go ahead and shoot though, maybe I know more than I think I know.”

               “Well, um, Nik and I have been going out over a year now, and she just graduated a little bit ago… Do you think it’s too soon to be wanting to marry her?  Is that normal?”

Evan didn’t even have to say anything because Brian remembered how he had answered the last question.  “So it’s not too soon?” He asked.

               “No, not as far as in the heart… Now, some older adults might tell you to wait, but, I don’t know, man… Nikki’s a great girl.  And I see how much you guys love each other.  I think as long as you know that you’re not going to flake out on her or be a baby and just up and change your mind, then, I’d say, go ahead and ask her. She is a once in a lifetime treasure.”

Brian felt his cheeks flush, talking about Nikki and marriage in the same sentence.  “Yeah, she is.  Have you noticed that Nikki, Ali, Maddy and Alyssa are all amazing? I mean, really!  Amazing!  Nikki can sew pillows and make quilts and aprons. She makes her own clothes sometimes.  She can bake and cook like none-other.  Alyssa bakes, and cooks just as well, and she is super organized, and very good at math… She also has a big heart, and she’s creative.”

               “I think that goes for all the ladies in our group.”

               “Si. You’re right… And Maddy, she’s the best listener I’ve ever met.  You can jabber on for an hour and she won’t say anything, except maybe, ‘oh’ or ‘hmm’ or’ how does that make you feel?’.  No wonder she went to school to be a counselor… She’s also a friend to the friendless, and she knows her bible like the back of her hand.  And Ali, well, she is incredibly tough.  And she is someone who sees all sides.  She also writes like- epically!  No wonder they have such an important role in our lives.”

               “You’re totally right.”

               “I am glad I came.”

               “Me too.  It’s nice to hang out- just bros.”

               “It is.  Man! It’s been a long time since I hung out one on one with a guy friend.”

               “I know!  I love going places with Ali, but I need to hang out with guy friends too.”

               “Oh, yeah.  Nikki says that to me all the time.  And what’s funny is that girls don’t need to be told.  They just do it.  They go to the mall, Panera, Starbucks, out to dinner, out to breakfast at IHOP all the time… How come we guys don’t do that?”

               “I don’t know.  We’re weird?”

               “That’s about the size of it, I think.”

After they finished eating and paid the bill, they decided to go laser tagging.  Their team won.  It was a really fun evening that both young men enjoyed. “So, this was a really good outing.  We should totally do this again.” Brian said as they walked out to their cars. 

               “How about two weeks from now?  I want to go to this one concert and I doubt Ali wants to go.  It’s this Indie band called Slam… They have some good tunes.”

               “Oh yeah, that sounds fun.”

               “Do you think that Andy and Harry would enjoy it?”

               “Yeah.  We should ask, and maybe it would be a Bros Night Out.”

               “Ok.  I’ll text them tomorrow.”

               “What were the girls doing tonight? I know Nikki, Maddy, and Alyssa were going to Ali’s place, at least to meet there, but Nik didn’t tell me what they were up to.”

               “Are you worried, or just curious?” Evan asked, raising an eyebrow.

               “Just curious.”

               “They were meeting at Ali’s and then going to Target and Kohl’s to shop for household things.  Ali is also updating our registry because they no longer make one of the things we picked out… I think they are also tasting hors d'oeuvres at this fancy catering place.”

            “I would ask how you know that, but, Ali IS your fiancé.  You WOULD know what she was up to.”

            “Usually.  She knew I was going out with you tonight and she wanted to fill me in on what was going on in Girl World.”

They shook hands and smiled, saying goodbye.  Both were happy that they had hung out.  Evan looked at his phone and saw that it was only ten o’clock and decided to jaunt over to the old library and work on it.  There wasn’t much he was going to do.  He just wanted to tidy up the joint. When he got there, Ali and her gal pals were there, and it was already clean.  They had actually painted a wall and they were just cleaning up.  “Hi, sweetie.” Ali smiled, red paint on her jeans. 

            “You did a good job, ladies.  And that chair looks better where you put it.”

            “Well, we tried.” Ali laughed. 

            “Did you and my crazy boyfriend have a good time?” Nikki asked, washing out a paint brush.

            “Oh, yeah.  We did.  We had wings and went laser tagging.”

            “That’s good. Men need to do that… as much as we women do…probably more so.”

            “About that… you know that concert by that SLAM group I posted on The Core page?” Evan hoped they remembered.

            “Yeah.  Harry kept saying he wanted to go to that but he didn’t think I would like it… And I remember hearing Andy say that he loves that band.” Maddy said, washing her hands.

            “Do you think they’d like to go with Brian and I to see them in two weeks?”

            “Of course.” Alyssa said.

            “Alright.  I’ll get the tickets.”

Chapter 18

The guys were now on their way to the concert.  Evan was driving.  Andy, Harry, and Brian had all gone with him out to eat, and they were having a good time.

               “So you’re marrying Ali… Very interesting.  She’s a trip, dude… Just so you know.” Andy said with a grin that showed how young he really was. 

               “Yeah, I know.  She is pretty fantastic.  Life will never be boring, I can tell you that.”

               “No.  Ali keeps us on our toes.” Harry said.  “She tells us when we’re crossing the line on something.  She is always someone that everyone feels compelled to share their life story with.  She gets people talking and somehow, they all know that she has their back and understands what they’re going through.  And I actually found myself being one of those people. Since I was marrying Maddy, her best friend, she went in my car to a wedding-related event before Maddy’s birthday dinner… And we got to talking.  I found out how cool she was, and then, since we had so much in common, I told her a few things about my family, and she said, ‘I totally get you’.  Then more stuff poured out…stuff about being overweight, or stuff about not feeling worthy of someone as great as Madeline.  She confided that Maddy was the first person who really gave her the time of day.  I thought in that moment that she better find a good guy who treats her right because she deserves the best… and thank God she found you, dude.  I’m so relieved.”

Evan felt a grin come over his face, and a warm spot in his heart at the words of the older guy in front of him.  And Brian, he said, “There’s no bull crap with Ali.  She says what she means and means what she says, and she doesn’t give up without a fight.  You can be totally honest with her and she never judges you.  If you do something to hurt her, she tells you, but she always does it with love.  I have had to be the one she chastises from time to time, because I admit that I can sometimes be oblivious to my crappiness as a friend.”

               “She doesn’t think you’re a crappy friend, Brian.  She just thinks that sometimes, you don’t give your real friends, especially her and Alyssa as much care as you should.  They’re like your sisters, but sometimes you brush them off… I mean, you don’t mean to.  It’s not on purpose.  But, a lot of times, all it would take was a text, or a call, or a Facebook message. Ali and Alyssa don’t want to know every detail of your life, Bri; they just want to know that you care, and they don’t want to spend an hour catching up, just to fall back behind and have to catch up again.  They want to get into meaty conversations instead of just the soup and salad course where all you do is talk about the weather, and the dumb thing you did at work or whatever.” Andy said, quietly.  Somehow, even though he was the baby of the group, he was wiser than his years.

               “Wow…And you’re fifteen?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

               “I get that a lot.” The kid chuckled, drinking some Red Bull he had bought at Kroger with Evan before meeting the rest of the guys.  Andy had met up with him on the early side because he needed a ride, being just barely fifteen.  He wanted to hang out with Evan to get to know him better, since they had only talked like twice, and only briefly.  But now, they were able to hang out.  Andy and Evan decided to run some errands together, going to Kroger and the bank, just buying things for the car ride, and making fools out of themselves while they did it.  Evan had been amazed at how Andy seemed to rub off on him.  It was the first time that Evan had been so giddy about doing something as simple as shopping.  Shopping was something he never really cared for, especially when it was something boring like clothes, shoes or groceries.  But somehow, grocery shopping with this kid was fun.  And it was even more fun because Andy was all hopped up on Red Bull and had bought one for him to drink.  “This is your payment for driving me to the concert.”

               “All I get is a Red Bull?” Evan raised an eyebrow in the line at Kroger. 

Andy hesitated a moment, and looked over in the impulse-buy section and said, “Do you want a National Enquirer?  This one looks interesting.  It seems there have been alien sightings in Thailand.”

               “Try again.” Evan rolled his eyes.

Andy looked again.  “A Good Housekeeping?”

               “Nope.”

               “Hey, I know!  You want a Snicker’s bar and a pack of gum?”

               “That’s good.”

Evan watched the younger man put the stuff on the register and then Evan looked over at Andy “You know, I was just kidding, man.”

               “I know… But you were right.”

 

--

The guys had a good time at the concert, and afterwards, it was late and they all decided to crash at Evan’s apartment and play video games the next day.  Meanwhile, the girls were having another one of their girls’ night in.  They made mocktails (since everyone but Ali and Maddy were underage) and did their nails like a mixture of grown up and pre-teen fun.  Maddy was getting ready for her own wedding and they were going over details while they listened to 90s pop over Ali’s iPod. They had just come back from the cake-tasting where they had their fill.  The cake was all very rich, and now the girls were practically stuffed.  “We ate so much cake… It was all so good…” Alyssa sighed.  “I’m not a big cake person, but I LOVE wedding cake!” Nikki said as Nsync sang about wanting someone back.  That was something odd about Nikki.  She loved sweets, and she was really good at baking- but she didn’t really like cake. 

Maddy laughed.  “I ate more cake here than I did at my own cake tasting. You have more extravagant taste than I, my friend.”

            “I suppose you’re right.” Ali giggled, inspecting her manicure.  She had painted her nails silver with hot pink tips.  She had finally gotten the hang of it.  When their nails were dry, they decided that they wanted to pop some popcorn and watch My Best Friend’s Wedding since they were on a wedding kick.

  Ali had decided that even though it was corny, she wanted to do a little tribute to that movie at her wedding.  She was surprised that her girlfriends all agreed to participate in the project, so, they had been practicing in between nail-painting and eating.  It had always been a wedding dream for her to do a home video of her in her wedding dress, and the girls in their bridesmaids dresses doing Wishin’ and Hopin’ from  the beginning credits of the film.  She also thought it would be cute to have the family and friends sing, I Say A Little Prayer For You.  Even Evan thought that would be funny.  She had been surprised because Evan HATED chick flicks and told her in no uncertain terms.  Every now and then, she could get him to watch one, but it took a few action flicks and maybe a Mike’s Hard Lemonade or two before he would agree.  She couldn’t say she blamed him.  Actually, he was pretty good about agreeing to watch them if she was really honest.  He never fell asleep.  He didn’t complain, even though she knew it wasn’t his cup of tea.  Watching him watch The Vow was hilarious because he actually cried.  But Ali remembered feeling terrible about laughing about it later because she knew that Evan probably was embarrassed for crying in front of her-no matter that she went through a few tissues herself… When he watched The Notebook, he did tell her afterward, “I want us to be like them when we get old.”

Ali noticed how silent Alyssa had been all through the afternoon and evening-finally asking her, “Is something wrong?”

Alyssa, her green-blue eyes  all done up with eyeshadow and liner- looked at her sister and then smiled a little, “I’m glad you’re happy, Alex.  And um, I wanted to know- if maybe I could like bring a date to your wedding?”

She said it as if she had just asked for the biggest favor in the world.  Ali’s mouth fell open in shock.  And She did a double-take.  “Sure you can bring someone!  Oh my gosh, ‘lyss!  You met someone?  Who? When? Why haven’t you mentioned it?”

Alyssa looked down at her purple nails and then looked back up.  “His name is David.  I met him at Orientation at Culinary School.”  Alyssa had decided that she was going to take cooking classes and learn to bake.  She was also going to be taking classes about Restaurants and Catering.  It seemed simply perfect for her. But Alyssa meeting a guy?! That was wonderful and unexpected.  “He walked me to my car when Orientation was over, and he told me I had beautiful eyes, and a great smile, and that he enjoyed sitting next to me during the intro.  He asked if I wanted to grab a coffee or ice cream or something, and we ended up at Graeter’s.  He opened the door for me, guys!  And we had just met, but he wouldn’t even let me buy my ice cream… I had my wallet out, but he pushed it back into my purse and said, ‘My treat’.  And when my hand accidentally brushed his at the counter, it was like something shocked me… like static-but it went straight to my heart.  He felt it too… He blushed. He told me he was studying to be a chef, and his parents own a catering business. He likes baseball and old cars.  And he shyly asked if he could have my number, and I said, ‘yes’.  He said, ‘I’ve never done this before’.  I told him that it had never happened to me before.  He looked at me in disbelief and said, ‘those guys missed out’…” Alyssa sighed, dreamily. 

            “Totally invite him!  I want to meet him!”

            “How come you didn’t tell me?” Nikki asked. 

            “I just met him last night… that was Orientation…”

            “I was already in bed when you would have been done…” Nikki got why Alyssa hadn’t mentioned it until now. 

            “And we’ve been so busy talking about the weddings, and watching movies that we really didn’t catch up like we really should.” Maddy said.

Always the therapist… She was right.  And they all talked until two in the morning, laughing until their sides nearly split. That’s what friends are for.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 19

               “Did you have a good time at the concert?” Ali asked him as they walked into the library/house the next afternoon. 

               “Yeah, we all had a blast.  It was nice being able to hang out with all the guys.  They are all pretty cool dudes, and the concert was good.  Andy was head banging which was interesting.  Harry dressed in ripped-up jeans.  Brian was singing REALLY loud.  We were jumping up and down like you at a Hanson concert.”

               “That must have been a sight to see.” Ali laughed.

               “Oh, it was.”

Evan had unlocked the door and he held it open for her.  “Thank you, kind sir.” She smiled, her eyes gleaming.

               “You’re welcome, kind madam.”

They set down their stuff and got to work.  Today, they were cleaning and hanging pictures-a few anyway.  They had already moved a few things into their new place, and the old library now looked more like a home.  But Evan and Ali, along with their family and friends, has scoured Half Price Books, Ollie’s, yard sales, library sales, and clearance racks to find books to fill the book shelves in the alcove of their living room. Slowly but surely, Ali was bringing her own books to put in the shelves, as was Evan.  She liked the merging of their things together in this house.  It was sweet, and actually, a little sensual, if one really thought about it.  And they would smile every time they brought boxes of their stuff to the new place that they would share together.  Evan had really worked hard on this room, and all the others.  So, Ali worked hard at keeping the place clean, and she even figured out a menu for them once they moved in and got settled.  Ali decided that before the wedding, like a week or so before- that she was going to make freezable meals so they could just take them out and heat them up when they didn’t feel like cooking.  It seemed like a smart thing to do. Ali was always someone who liked to think ahead on things if at all possible.